


Rock, Paper, Soulmate

by pinkinmyimagination



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-09 01:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11094465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkinmyimagination/pseuds/pinkinmyimagination
Summary: Although he’d spent so much of his life in such a rush to find his soulmate, it’s true that he feels less and less urgent about it since becoming close with Hyunwoo. The other dancer fills his need for close companionship, offers the affection the younger lives off of. And honestly, they fit so well together, sometimes Hoseok himself is surprised they’ve never even talked about being anything more than friends. If it weren’t for the name on his wrist, Hoseok would have assumed Hyunwoo was the person he was meant to spend his life with.But Hyunwoo isn’t Hoseok’s soulmate, and that’s that.





	1. 妄想感傷代償連盟

**Author's Note:**

> huge thanks to my bff [milosparks](http://archiveofourown.org/users/milosparks/pseuds/milosparks) for helping me edit this and bolster my confidence with it, i honestly could not have finished this without you <3 they wrote the first line for this story, as i suck at that, so please visit their ao3 or [tumblr](http://lesbiannilquis.tumblr.com)!  
> based off a prompt from the [auideas](http://auideas.tumblr.com) tumblr blog.

Writers spend years trying to put to ink and paper how it feels to find true love. Word and wisdom and even experience are oftentimes wasted trying to describe what Shin Hoseok’s been trying to find since he could understand what love is.

There hasn’t been a day in Hoseok’s life in which he hasn’t actively longed for his soulmate. He’s a romantic through and through, believing nothing in life will ever be more worthwhile and fulfilling than having the love of his life by his side. Most people live their lives letting fate guide them to their other halves, but Hoseok does everything he can think to do to speed the process along. He makes a point to meet as many people as possible: had learned all his classmates’ names, mingled excessively at parties, continues to introduce himself to nearly everyone he comes in contact with—anything he can do to possibly find the person whose name is tattooed across the pale skin of Hoseok’s left wrist.

Since the name had appeared on his wrist, Hoseok’s soulmate had been nothing more than a name and a mystery (but wasn’t that the case more often than not). Being an idealist, Hoseok always believed he would find his soulmate relatively soon, within his twenties at most, and it would be love at first sight, despite what his peers and mentors say. He’s so infatuated with the idea of his soulmate. He dreams up romanticized scenarios on how he’ll meet his soulmate, what they’ll be like, how the two of them will spend the rest of their lives together.

Not that any of it helps, however. At eighteen years old nearly graduating from high school and spending his free time with a well-known dance crew and/or writing sappy lyrics his friends tease him over, he’s no closer to meeting his soulmate than he had been at eight years old. His friends tell him that’s just how it is, that fate decides when people meet their soulmates. The dancer can’t fight the fact that his soulmate simply doesn’t exist in his life yet. He’s told to just wait for fate to bring them together.

(That doesn’t mean Hoseok isn’t a little bitter about it.)

Hoseok knows eighteen is a rather young age to meet his soulmate, but he can’t help but be impatient. Watching other soulmate couples makes him ache with loneliness deep in his chest. He longs for that close companionship more than anything else, needs to know there’s someone out there in the world that he will be able to come home to everyday, and never worry again about being alone. He needs to make sure he doesn’t end up like his poor mother—alone, and left by her companion for someone else.

His mother is a rare case. Unlike most of the population, her wrist is bare and without soulmate marks. No one quite knows what it means to be born without markings. There’s a wide belief that people without markings simply exist without a perfect other half waiting for them, that they are meant to be alone. For his mother, it meant that her husband of fourteen years would leave her and their two children behind with hardly a second glance after finding his own soulmate. He can still vividly remember the day he’d returned home from school to his mother’s desperate sobs and heartbroken screams echoing throughout the apartment. The young boy had been terrified, certain something awful had happened. He’d wailed in fear, cried for his mother. She’d rushed to him, an absolute mess, and hugged him tight as they both cried.

In only a few hours, Hoseok’s father had moved out of their small apartment. His soulmate had come with him to help pack, and Hoseok’s mother could do nothing but helplessly watch the love of her life thoughtlessly leave her for someone else. His mother had been absolutely crushed, devastated by his father’s actions. Hardly anything could console her afterwards. She behaved as if her former lover had died (although, with how he entirely disappears from their lives, Hoseok supposes he might as well be dead). Years later, she still hadn’t fully recovered from the loss. Losing the man she had called her soulmate, despite the universe not granting her one, had caused her to lose a large part of herself as well. It’s relieving for Hoseok to have his own markings, and he wants to cherish his other half just for existing.

The time after his father left had been rough (is still rough, sometimes). However, Hoseok had taken comfort from his soulmate. Even if they’ve never met, the boy is still able to feel his soulmate’s emotions. His soulmate lives a happy childhood, which helped Hoseok get through the harder times throughout his own life. His soulmate’s emotions are only intense when the other is at his happiest, as if they’re trying to share their best times with their other half. Hoseok tries to do the same for them, tries to comfort them when they’re down, but it doesn’t seem as though his soulmate receives the emotions Hoseok sends him.

This isn’t unheard of either, soulmate pairs that don’t share the emotional connection, or even when one felt it, but the other didn’t. So Hoseok isn’t worried if this is the case between him and his other half. He’ll simply return the favor to his soulmate in person.

He just has to meet them first.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Son Hyunwoo enters Hoseok’s life just before the end of their senior year. Hyunwoo had been in Hoseok’s classes before, and although the two have a few mutual friends, they hardly speak to each other. Yoo Kihyun, Hyunwoo’s childhood friend and Hoseok’s lab partner, tried his hardest to get them to become friends, but it never ended up working out. Sometimes it seemed as if the older male purposefully kept his distance from the other, but Hoseok just assumed he wasn’t looking to make a friend and didn’t see a need to push anything. That changed when the two classmates had run into each other backstage at a dance competition for a festival.

Hoseok had known Hyunwoo was in a dance crew, of course. It was one of the hobbies they shared, and although they briefly bonded over it, they’d never talked about it much after their first meeting. They had never even seen each other dance prior to the competition. Hoseok had been blown away when he’d finally watched his classmate’s performance, so impressed he was hardly disappointed when Hyunwoo’s team beat his own. Instead, as he approached the other performer after the show, Hoseok could only gush praises in excitement. “I had no idea you’re so talented!” he’d exclaimed. “How could you never mention you’re a part of J-HYPE? That’s so awesome!”

Hyunwoo, on his part, only shrugged in embarrassment. “I’m glad you liked the performance,” he offered lamely. “I do my best to show off my crew’s talent.” The younger dancer learned Hyunwoo was the leader of a new, but up-and-coming dance crew called J-HYPE, which was made up of four dancers who had broken off from one of Gangnam’s biggest dance troupes. Hoseok hadn’t recognized Hyunwoo before due to his stage name, Shownu, and his crew consistently wears masks on stage. The other three members in the crew were amazingly talented as well (although none had caught his immediate attention as Hyunwoo had), and Hoseok kicked himself repeatedly for not finding out about them sooner. Hyunwoo asked about Hoseok’s own crew, complimented their performance as well. They talked with each other until they had to rejoin their troupes, and agreed to share more of their performances. Hoseok couldn’t have been more ecstatic in that moment (his heart fluttered strangely, in a way he’d never experienced before, but he brushed it off as he kept talking to the older student). His own troupe was made of other dancers all older and more experienced than himself; he wanted a peer, someone his own age to have dancing in common with—especially with someone as talented as Hyunwoo.

From then, their friendship flourishes. However, it takes some help at first for it to grow. There’s some resistance from Hyunwoo still, and Hoseok is awkward in trying to get the other to open up to him, but Hyunwoo’s friend encourages them to get to know each other. He engages conversations between the two, and even works with Hoseok’s closest friend, Lee Jooheon, to bring their friend circles together. The younger student is strangely determined, but Hoseok is grateful nonetheless. He’s earnest and eager to get to know the J-HYPE dancer, and he’s ecstatic when Hyunwoo finally warms up to him.

After Hoseok begs for Hyunwoo to let him watch one of his crew’s practices, Hyunwoo compromises and agrees to practice one-on-one with the younger dancer. Hoseok is elated at this offer, and he easily accepts. They meet up weekly at first, just to practice, but it doesn’t take long for them to start hanging out regularly, whether it’s going out for ramen after school or going to the nearby arcade (sometimes Kihyun and Jooheon will go with them too. Although Hoseok does prefer being alone with Hyunwoo, he’s relieved they can all have fun with each other. It’s the first time Hoseok has seen Jooheon so genuinely carefree in years). Their friendship falls into place as most things do: slowly, and then quickly, and then all at once. Hyunwoo is still shy and tentative, but he’s no longer closed off as he lets Hoseok in.

His personality in person is much different than the image he carries during performances. On stage, Hyunwoo carries an impressive charisma and confidence that Hoseok wishes he could carry, but in his daily life the older dancer is much dorkier and down-to-earth. He realizes he’s very skilled in dancing, the best in his crew, but always boasts about and showcases his teammates’ talents over his own. The younger student learns Hyunwoo is an aspiring choreographer, and that he’s the one to create most of the dances his team performs. Hyunwoo still doesn’t take much credit for his work, citing it was only possible due to his crew’s input and talent (he’s too modest, the younger dancer laments, but it’s cute to watch the way his face flares red with embarrassment at even the simplest of praise).

At some point, quickly enough it would be alarming if he cared to pay attention, Hoseok becomes near inseparable from Hyunwoo. The younger student seeks out the other dancer often, stays with him as much as he can. Outside of school and dance practice, Hoseok and Hyunwoo begin spending whatever free time they have together. He even shows off some of the songs he’s written, which he’s never even let Jooheon read (he could have died from relief when the older dancer had told him the lyrics were sweet and praised him instead of mocking how cheesy they are). Hoseok begins to _crave_ the other’s presence, feeling lonely without him even when in the company of other friends. Suddenly nothing feels right without him. It should be concerning that he’s grown so attached in such a short amount of time, but he doesn’t take the time to wonder what it means.

Jooheon teases him about it. “You don’t even talk about your soulmate anymore, not since you met Hyunwoo-hyung.” Hoseok denies this claim vehemently. _I think about them all the time_. Thoughts of his soulmate simply aren’t as active in his mind right now. His soulmate’s emotions aren’t even as strong as they normally are, as if they’re giving Hoseok space.

Kihyun regards him thoughtfully. “Maybe soulmates aren’t everything.” Hoseok reflexively argues, and ignores the small part of his brain that voices quiet agreements with the younger male. This isn’t about his soulmate anyway.

He just likes Hyunwoo more than anyone else. That’s all it is.

Although he’d spent so much of his life in such a rush to find his soulmate, it’s true that he feels less and less urgent about it since becoming close with Hyunwoo. The other dancer fills his need for close companionship, offers the affection the younger lives off of. And honestly, they fit so well together, sometimes Hoseok himself is surprised they’ve never even talked about being anything more than friends. If it weren’t for the name on his wrist, Hoseok would have assumed Hyunwoo was the person he was meant to spend his life with.

But Hyunwoo isn’t Hoseok’s soulmate, and that’s that.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

After graduating high school, they decide to attend the same university together. Hoseok’s heart had done strange backflips as he’d written Hyunwoo’s name on his roommate request form, and the feeling only grew in intensity when Hyunwoo reported he had done the same for the younger male. He couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.

They get a nice dorm together. It’s bigger than Hoseok’s tiny shared room at home. As the two of them unpack their stuff and move into their new space, the younger student feels overwhelmed. Something about the way they playfully bicker over who gets which bed or how to decorate their room feels so _right_ —Hoseok can’t explain it. He doesn’t want to put a label on it either. It’s something he wants to allow to naturally happen, so he doesn’t think too hard about what it means when a simple smile from Hyunwoo is enough to make the songwriter’s heart flutter, nor why he can’t ever seem to get enough of being around him (it’s not as intense as it had been during their time in high school, but there’s still a noticeable _itch_ when they’re apart).

Fortunately, they don’t spend much time away from each other. They’re lucky enough to share a few classes with each other, study together, live together—and after spending so much time with them, Hoseok ends up leaving his old dance crew to join Hyunwoo’s team (when asked about it, Hoseok cites it’s just more convenient; that doesn’t stop the youngest two members of the J-HYPE crew from smirking conspiratorially as Hyunwoo had officially announced the songwriter as part of their team. Nonetheless, they all welcome him with open arms). Hyunwoo even helps him pick a stage name—Wonho, the protector (their friends find it endearing). Even when they go home to visit their families and friends, they end up staying with each other.

Hyunwoo is so much more than just a roommate and coworker, however. He’s Hoseok’s support and emotional rock. He grounds the songwriter when his stress and anxiety border overwhelming by wrapping a strong arm around his waist and offering a shoulder to cry on; he indulges the other when Hoseok curls up beside him in search of the physical affection he craves; he even makes certain to keep tissues on hand when they binge watch emotional dramas into the early hours of the morning during weekends they’ve got nothing else planned for. In the same vein, Hoseok pulls the choreographer out of his shell, encourages Hyunwoo to be open and honest, as well as to reach for his dreams. Hoseok helps Hyunwoo feel valid and appreciated, does what he can to repay Hyunwoo’s kindnesses.

All of their friends joke about how much the two dancers seem like a romantic couple. Something about those remarks makes warmth flare in Hoseok’s chest as the tips of his ears turn red, but it also makes him feel nervous and guilty. He tries not to let it get to him—it’s just friendly teasing—but the dancer can’t help the unease he feels. Because the truth is, at this point, it isn’t even like they’re strictly wrong (although he would _never_ admit it).

Hoseok and Hyunwoo do act more like a couple than best friends. They can’t be away from each other, which is unreasonable for any pair with a relationship status anything less than soulmates. They’ve ended up in several situations too intimate for best friends—such as the time Hoseok pulled Hyunwoo into his bed and held him tight when the younger experienced a rough anxiety attack, or when the songwriter cried over an intense bout of homesickness and Hyunwoo kissed his tears away. It’s not normal, Hoseok realizes, but something about such close contact with Hyunwoo makes Hoseok feel whole, complete.

It takes until the middle of his junior year for Hoseok to realize he’s in love with Son Hyunwoo. They’ve lived together for two years, known each other for three, and the songwriter realizes he never wants to leave him—and Hyunwoo _has_ to feel the same way. Despite the countless times they’ve talked about Hoseok’s soulmate, they’ve never discussed what they’ll do when the songwriter finds his soulmate. The younger dancer can’t force himself to consider the possibility of moving away from his best friend, even if it’s to be with the person meant solely for him. After all these years together, how can Hoseok be expected to leave Hyunwoo when the other has become such an essential part of his life?

Even though he acts like it doesn’t bother him, like he doesn’t think about it, Hoseok can tell Hyunwoo imagines it too. He can feel it during the times they’re innocently tangled on their small couch and Hyunwoo’s arms around him tighten when the songwriter makes some sleepy mention of his soulmate; he sees it in the way the content light in Hyunwoo’s eyes dims when Hoseok rambles too far with his daydreams of life with his soulmate. Hoseok doesn’t want to hurt his friend (his very close, beloved friend that he holds a strong, loving bond with), but he can’t do anything about the fact that they simply aren’t meant for each other.

He should be okay with this; he’s known who he’s meant to be with since he was a child. And yet, he still can’t help but lament the fact that Hyunwoo isn’t his.

These feelings… they’re wrong, aren’t they? Hoseok has a soulmate, and Hyunwoo doesn’t. How can the songwriter carry such intense feelings for someone who isn’t meant to be his? How can he give himself away to anyone besides the person he promised himself to since their name appeared on his wrist? How can Hyunwoo make Hoseok’s soulmate seem so inconsequential when they had been the first and last thing Hoseok thought of every day before he met the other? And why does it feel so right to give up his soulmate’s love for Hyunwoo’s embrace?

He supposes it only matters if Hyunwoo loves him back—which brings on a different round of anxiety. He doesn’t know how deep Hyunwoo’s affection for him runs, whether it’s the surface-level friendship Hoseok sees, or if there’s something deeper. This isn’t the same as having a soulmate, who you know loves you for even the smallest things. He’s scared of rejection, especially when he never imagined he’d have to face it.

Hoseok holds it all back for as long as he can. He’s never been good at bottling his feelings for any length of time, though, and that’s how he ends up spilling his thoughts to his most trusted friend, Jooheon. The aspiring rapper had stayed a close friend despite the distance once Hoseok had left for university—once, after the two dancers had graduated, he’d promised the three of them and Kihyun would all end up in the same university once they all finished high school (that hadn’t ended up happening as Kihyun enrolled at an art school to pursue his photography, but he keeps in touch and isn’t too far away). Jooheon had upheld his end of the promise, and joined the freshman class at the dancers’ university.

So it’s easy for Hoseok to seek out Jooheon late one Saturday night and have a breakdown over his intense and unwarranted attraction towards their friend.

He tells him everything: his incessant urges to be near Hyunwoo, the pleasant flutters in his stomach whenever their hands brush and their fingers loosely intertwine, and even the deep adoration he feels for the older dancer.

“Sounds like how I started out with my soulmate,” Jooheon comments with an odd smile. Hoseok chews his lower lip nervously, eyes reflexively darting to the faded gray name on Jooheon’s left wrist. The younger pulls his hand away, crosses his arms to hide the name. “Look, Hyung, there’s nothing wrong with falling in love with someone who isn’t your soulmate. You still haven’t found him anyway, so what’s wrong with having feelings for Hyunwoo-hyung?”

“There’s lots of things wrong with it!” he stresses. “I’ll have to leave him when I find my soulmate, which means I’ll have led him on and wasted his time and love—and that’s assuming he even feels the same way, which I don’t even know if he does!”

The younger student grins, pats Hoseok on the shoulder in mock sympathy. “Now you’ll have to normally ask him out like everyone else without soulmates.”

 _I have a soulmate_ , he thinks petulantly, but only grimaces in response. Jooheon’s teasing smile turns to one of encouragement. “It’s okay. I think Hyung will accept your feelings; you just have to tell him. Seriously, don’t worry about your soulmate.” And then the topic was dropped as Jooheon started talking about a sophomore he’d met who was in a talented rap duo on campus, and how much he wanted to start his own group. Hoseok could hardly participate in that conversation, however, as he couldn’t get Hyunwoo out of his thoughts.

He’s done for, truly.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Although he never planned to say anything, even after consulting Jooheon, there’s a point in which Hoseok simply can’t take it anymore.

“What do you think my soulmate is like?” he blurts out one night while he and Hyunwoo are at home in their shared dorm, celebrating their crew’s latest win with take-out, variety shows, and cheap beer Hoseok had gotten from an upperclassman (the real celebration with the rest of the crew wouldn’t be until the weekend). They’re both a little buzzed, and perhaps that’s where Hoseok’s sudden spark of confidence had risen from. His eyes flit to the other’s expression, but he can’t hold the eye contact out of embarrassment. It’s a simple question, but he’s never asked it before.

Beside him on the couch, Hyunwoo frowns thoughtfully, chewing on a bite of chicken. “Ah… probably someone calm and accepting,” he decides. After another moment he adds, “Someone who won’t cry while watching dramas so they can comfort you.”

Despite his nerves, Hoseok is startled enough to laugh. “So you, then?” he remarks without thinking.

The other blinks, surprised, before giving an odd, wry grin. “If only I was so lucky, ah?”

This response causes Hoseok to frown, even as Hyunwoo turns back to the TV and reaches for his next beer. After years of knowing the other dancer, this was the first time Hoseok had heard him make any sort of lamenting remark about either of their soulmate markings (or lack thereof, in the older’s case). Is he actually hurt by the fact he has no soulmate markings? Is he jealous of Hoseok for having them? Or maybe… “Hyung, do you like me?”

Hyunwoo’s eyes become uncharacteristically guarded as the younger male watches him closely. The choreographer turns his attention towards Hoseok, expression decisively blank. “I’ve always liked you,” he replies simply, and Hoseok wishes the other wasn’t so dense.

“No, I mean,” he tries again, stumbling to find the right words. Embarrassed heat rises to his face; his stomach is a mess of fluttering butterflies trapped between twisting knots. Not finding any other option, the truth spills from the songwriter’s lips, “Look—Hyunwoo, I think I’m in love with you, and I need to know how you feel about me, or else I might actually go crazy.” It’s definitely the alcohol talking. His brain trips over the words flowing freely out of his mouth, and Hoseok’s eyes widen in belated horror when he realizes what he’s admitted.

They stare at each other in silence for several moments. Hoseok thinks his heart might burst from how hard it’s beating in his chest. Surely, he expects it to break out of his rib cage. He needs the other dancer to say something, anything, but he keeps his mouth shut. It’s maddening. Voice shaking, Hoseok practically begs, “Please say something.”

“You mean it?” Hyunwoo asks, tone soft. “You love me?”

“Of course I love you,” Hoseok replies easily. “But I’m also possibly _in_ love with you. There’s a difference.”

It’s only then that a brilliant, _relieved_ smile cracks Hyunwoo’s thoughtful expression. “That’s good, since I’ve been in love with you for a long time.” And Hoseok’s own relief is so immense he could drown in it.

He climbs up off the floor and onto the couch, meaning to embrace the older male, but he freezes. “Then… are we…?”

Hyunwoo leans towards him, slots one of his hands against the back of his neck. “Can I kiss you?” he murmurs, and the knots in Hoseok’s stomach unwind as warmth floods his chest. The songwriter takes the initiative to move forward and press their lips together. Hyunwoo tastes like cheap beer and cherry chapstick, but his hands are steady and warm where they cup Hoseok’s face with the tenderness and affection the blond had only ever dreamed of.

“Does this mean we’re dating?” Hoseok asks breathlessly as they pull away momentarily.

Hyunwoo gives an airy laugh that isn’t like anything Hoseok’s ever heard before and sends tingles down his spine. “Only if you want it to.” These words cause a stirring in Hoseok’s chest, one that causes him to feel lighter than ever, and yet he’s never been so grounded. The younger dancer can’t help but nod vehemently as he dives in for another, deeper kiss.

Whether or not Hoseok begins to cry as Hyunwoo holds him tightly and whispers _I love you_ s against his lips is a secret kept between the two of them.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

No one is surprised when the two dancers announce their new relationship status. In fact, Jooheon goes as far as to roll his eyes and yell a very enthusiastic, “ _Finally_! At the rate you two were going, I expected us to all be old and gray before either of you said anything.” Kihyun congratulates the two of them, offers to be their wedding photographer (to which Hoseok shoves him, but blushes despite himself). The photography student shares a warm, happy smile with Hyunwoo, something that reads along the lines of “ _I told you it would work out_ ” and somehow it relieves Hoseok to know he hadn’t been the only one looking to their friends for help dealing with his feelings. He squeezes Hyunwoo’s hand under the table when they sit down to eat and can’t help the giddy smile playing at his lips.

“You two are true soulmates,” Kihyun comments with confidence. Hoseok doesn’t understand the comment (they aren't soulmates, not even if Hoseok wishes they were), but Hyunwoo’s face glows with a light blush and he looks a bit choked up, like he might tear up as his grip on Hoseok tightens. It’s concerning at first, but he smiles with genuine joy, so Hoseok only wordlessly leans into him supportively. Jooheon teasingly coos at how cute they are, which causes Hyunwoo to laugh as Hoseok splutters embarrassedly.

The romantic side of their relationship develops as naturally and quickly as their friendship. Although on the surface not much changes, the couple definitely _feels_ a difference. It’s as though a floodgate holding back the true depth of their affection for each other had been lifted, and they opened up to each other more than they already had (which if he’s honest, Hoseok didn’t think that was possible). The restrictions they’d put on themselves are gone, which results in the pair sharing affection between each other even more freely. Hyunwoo especially takes advantage of this change, holding onto Hoseok like he’s afraid of losing him. But Hoseok doesn’t mind, not when he enjoys the close contact. He likes the soft side of Hyunwoo, the side that treats him as if Hoseok is a precious being he needs to treasure all his time with. Likewise, the songwriter does his best to pay back all of the attention and affection the older dancer showers him with.

They settle into a peaceful routine. Each morning starts in each other’s arms (usually in Hoseok’s bed, as his is deemed the comfier of the two), lazy kisses shared before Hyunwoo gets up to make breakfast (Hyunwoo is a decent cook when given instruction, but Hoseok doesn’t have room to complain when all he himself can make is ramen). Hoseok rolls out of bed after a few more minutes of dozing and makes coffee for the two (both with the same cream and sugar; Hyunwoo used to drink his plain, but Hoseok got him hooked). After breakfast, they’ll head to the gym together. They separate for their classes, and meet back up to attend dance practice after. From there is when their schedule can deviate: Sometimes they’ll go out with friends, other times they’ll stay in and study or watch TV. Although he normally is the one who ends up deciding what they do, Hoseok doesn’t really care so long as Hyunwoo is by his side. And every night, they end up falling asleep in a tangle of limbs.

As they get to know each other more intimately, the need to always be together lessens. The love between them doesn’t fade, but there’s less urgency to always be close. They prefer being together, but there’s no longer any discomfort at being apart. It feels good, feels right.

Things change a bit when Kihyun meets his soulmate.

Lee Minhyuk works part time at Kihyun’s favorite coffee shop, but the two had never seen each other until Minhyuk was filling in for one of his coworkers at the same time Kihyun visited the shop every day. It was entirely by chance that he’d been the one to take Kihyun’s order, and the photographer had described his soulmate’s reaction as “cartoonishly over-excited” (it’s not a spectacular or noteworthy story, but Hoseok finds it cute nonetheless). The blond songwriter doesn’t know much more about his friend’s other half; Kihyun refuses to introduce his soulmate to his friends until the pair deem themselves ready (apparently Minhyuk is dying to meet Kihyun’s friends, but the photography student was hesitant, to say the least). But that doesn’t mean Kihyun doesn’t talk about Minhyuk; contrary, it’s like the other male is suddenly the very center of the younger’s world.

Although it’s normal for soulmates to become entirely involved with each other for a while after their first meeting, it’s a bit strange to see Yoo “soulmates-are-overrated” Kihyun acting so enthusiastically about his own other half. The dark-haired male had never been one to express much (if any) want for romantic relationships, even with his soulmate. Prior to meeting Minhyuk, the photographer never talked about his soulmate—much unlike Hoseok. If anything, Kihyun ignored the markings on his wrist. Had he not seen the markings on Kihyun’s wrist, he would’ve thought it was bare, judging by how little he cared. But now that he’s found his other half, the two have been spending all of their free time together. Kihyun talks about Minhyuk all the time, enough that Hoseok grumbles that he should just introduce the other to them already, but Kihyun is adamant that they’re not ready.

There’s a shift in the way the younger male acts. It’s not like he’s giddy and infatuated like teenagers experiencing their first crush; he’s softer when the topic of Minhyuk comes up, almost wistful and longing. He acts like he can barely think clearly when he’s away from Minhyuk, like it’s painful to be apart from him aside from the times he absolutely has to.

Only a little jealous and bitter over his childhood friend all-but completely ditching him now that he found his soulmate, Hoseok complains behind the other’s back (mostly because he barely has time to complain to his face).

Unfortunately, he chooses the wrong person to complain to. “Lay off him a little bit, Hyung.” Jooheon chides him, trying to explain as he’s the only other person in their little circle of friends that had found his soulmate. “It’s like finding a part of you that’s been missing for your whole life, but you’d never known how to fill. Only they can fill the gaps.” He gives the blond a rueful smile, and the older’s stomach twists harshly as he mumbles out an apology.

(Hoseok stops complaining after that conversation.)

The blond wonders sometimes if Hyunwoo sees what’s happened with Kihyun and worries about his future with Hoseok. Does he consider what will happen when the songwriter finds his soulmate? Has he already resigned himself to only a short life with Hoseok at his side? Maybe he thinks about the younger dancer’s soulmate more than Hoseok himself does—or maybe he doesn’t think about Hoseok’s soulmate at all. Perhaps Hyunwoo is content to live in the present, and doesn’t consider the future beyond what routine they’ll have to perform next week or what they’ll have for dinner tomorrow.

Hyunwoo is simple, low stress. So long as he and everyone around him are happy, he won’t question much. The blond wishes he could do the same, but he’s scared. He’s terrified of turning into his father.

He wants to believe he’ll do the right thing when the time comes, but he’s afraid this soulmate bond will override his own sensibility. Kihyun’s reaction to his own soulmate only furthers Hoseok’s fears.

The tension continues to mount, Kihyun constantly abandoning the rest of the group to spend time with his soulmate, whom he refuses to introduce to the rest of them. Hoseok feels slighted every single time Kihyun texts him back with an apology and an explanation, he’s with Minhyuk tonight, he’s meeting Minhyuk’s parents, Minhyuk wanted to see this movie. On and on and on, until one day Hoseok snaps.

For the first time in weeks, Kihyun had finally taken the time to hang out at the two dancers’ dorm along with Jooheon. Hoseok is elated to see the photographer at first. He hastily assumes Kihyun is already over his need to be at Minhyuk’s side. It’s relieving; the attraction can’t be that strong if Kihyun is already over it. The other behaves normally, without mentioning Minhyuk at all. They’re all four able to converse and joke around just as they always had. They spend the time catching up on the anime they’d promised to watch together. It’s a good change of pace, a good break from the stress Hoseok had been feeling since Kihyun had met his other half. It doesn’t last long, however, as Kihyun suddenly claims he has to leave early.

“Minhyuk wants to get coffee,” he mumbles as an excuse.

It’s the final straw that sets Hoseok off. He rises from his seat on the couch curled against Hyunwoo’s side. The other dancer winces as _anxiety_ flares within Hoseok. “Can you really not sacrifice even one full evening to spend with us?” he snaps, not really annoyed so much as he is terrified of this effect Minhyuk has on Kihyun. The photographer can’t feel such a magnetization to the other male, not when he so vehemently claimed soulmates were painfully overrated. The younger male’s resolve about it couldn’t have dissolved so quickly, not when he was so stubborn and critical. What chance will Hoseok have against his own other half if Kihyun can’t resist his?

“I’m sorry, Hoseok-hyung, but we’re still trying to figure things out and get comfortable,” the dark-haired student shrugs, at least slightly apologetic. “I’m sure you can understand.”

“Is it really necessary for you to be with him all the time? Do you seriously wait at his every beck and call?” The words are tinged with bitterness, but the questions are honest all the same. More than anything, Hoseok wants to be prepared.

Kihyun doesn’t take it well, though. “Does it _matter_?” he throws back. “Just give me some time. After we introduce you guys, I’ll be back to spending time with you, okay?”

Hoseok’s jaw clenches; this isn’t helping at all. “Is it really because of your soulmate connection? Does your soulmate really make you feel that strongly?” he mumbles, more to himself than to Kihyun, but the other still hears him.

The photographer goes rigid at the realization of the true reason Hoseok had been so upset. Looking at his hurt reaction, the blond starts to feel like he’s being petty and knows he’s in the wrong. But Kihyun doesn’t give him the chance to apologize. “You’re so fucking selfish, Hoseok. Of course you weren’t missing me, you were only thinking of _you_ and _your_ problems. Why are you still thinking of your stupid, supposed ‘soulmate’? Isn’t Hyunwoo-hyung enough? Can’t you just focus on him and worry about your soulmate when you actually meet him?”

It’s a low blow, even if it’s true. Jooheon shifts uncomfortably beside Hoseok. “Kihyun-hyung, that’s a little too much.”

“How can I forget about him when his name’s been on my wrist for as long as I can remember, and I feel his every emotion?” Hoseok utters, defensive. However, his counter isn’t quite true; he hasn’t felt his soulmate’s emotions for quite a while. They had begun pulling away around the time Hoseok started dating Hyunwoo. He figured it had to correlate, seeing as his soulmate had been increasingly upset the closer the two dancers became. Hoseok can’t fathom how his soulmate could know, however. His other half had never been able to feel Hoseok’s own emotions. “I am happy with Hyunwoo—I’m happier with him than I’ve ever been. That’s why I’m so scared of _your_ soulmate.”

Kihyun looks at him in disbelief, doing nothing to hide his utter disdain for the conversation. “I can’t believe you. Can’t you just be happy for me without relating my situation to your own? God—I hope you never find your stupid soulmate,” he bites out angrily. The sudden remark leaves Hoseok speechless, and he can only stare at the spot Kihyun had been standing as the photographer storms off. He can’t even find it in him to confess that sometimes he hopes for the same thing before the other leaves.

Shin Hoseok wants so badly to belong to Son Hyunwoo without worry, to be able to hold and love him with all he has and no reservations, but he can’t feel fully comfortable when he’s always aware his true soulmate is out there somewhere.

Hyunwoo tugs him back, and Hoseok’s body puts up no resistance as the older dancer pulls him into the warmth and safety of his strong embrace. He mumbles quiet reassurances, telling the blond he understands and doesn’t hold his soulmate markings nor his worries against him. For the first time, Hoseok looks up into Hyunwoo’s welcoming gaze and voices his deepest wish aloud in a quiet whisper, “I’d rather my wrist be blank than to love anyone but you.”

The brunet choreographer can only give a pained smile in reply. They don’t leave each other’s side for the rest of the night.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Hoseok doesn’t talk to Kihyun for a couple days after that, so he’s taken off guard when the photographer calls him up nearly a week after the argument. “I want you to meet my soulmate,” he says stiffly, awkwardly. “I talked to Minhyuk and he agrees it’s time for us to introduce our friends. If you’d like to go, we’ll be meeting on Saturday at that cafe you like by my university.”

The songwriter agrees, lets Hyunwoo know of the plans. At the news, the older dancer gives him a look that’s a strange mix of disappointment and resignation. “Ah, I can’t go. I’m teaching the new trainee that day. I’ll have to meet Minhyuk some other time.” The smile he gives is weak, easily fake, and it confuses Hoseok. He won’t say anything more, though, and Hoseok stops pushing. The mood between them is oddly strained in the days leading up to Saturday. Hyunwoo holds him tighter, yet keeps him at arm’s length in the same instant. It’s awkward, and Hoseok doesn’t understand what’s causing the distance.

Saturday can’t roll around fast enough. Hoseok leaves early, too antsy to sit around his dorm any longer. Kihyun and Jooheon are already waiting when he gets there. Kihyun offers him a nervous smile, and Hoseok returns it with relief. The three of them grab a large table in the middle of the quaint restaurant and order drinks while they wait. “Minhyuk has a tendency to be late,” Kihyun admits, nervously tapping his fingers along the warm coffee mug in his hands. “Hopefully at least one of his roommates cares about punctuality.”

Thankfully, they do arrive on time. Two attractive, college-aged boys walk up to their table, and Kihyun immediately straightens up. His gaze immediately snaps over to the shorter male with the brilliant red hair and the wide, excited grin—Minhyuk, Hoseok’s brain supplies. “Hey,” Kihyun breathes as he stands to greet his soulmate.

Minhyuk squeezes Kihyun’s hand. “Hi Kihyunnie—have you been here long? I tried to be on time, but we wasted some time trying to convince Changkyun-ah to come with us. He decided to be anti-social today, sadly.” he sighs a bit melodramatically, but the smile doesn’t slip from his face; if anything it only brightens as he gives his soulmate another onceover before looking at the other two students seated at the table. He’s very handsome, Hoseok observes. However, Hoseok all-but forgets about him as the blond’s eyes are drawn to the stranger beside him—who is quickly labeled the prettiest male he’s ever laid eyes on.

The dark-haired boy stands taller than the others, long-limbed and lanky. His posture is relaxed and gives off an attractive air of confidence. His features are soft, his dark-yet-crystalline eyes focused attentively on Kihyun and Minhyuk. Hoseok isn’t sure which of his features is prettiest: his large, expressive eyes; the gentle curve of his slender nose; his pillowy lips; or perhaps even the roundness of his soft cheeks. The blond almost gets lost in the natural beauty standing right in front of him. He has to be some sort of celebrity; normal people aren’t this physically stunning. As the newcomer’s gaze sweeps over to meet Hoseok’s, the blond feels a spark jolt through him and his tongue suddenly turns to lead.

A voice cuts through his silent musings. “Ah, you must be Wonho!” Minhyuk’s voice filters through, belatedly snapping Hoseok out of his captivated daze as he recognizes his stage name being spoken. He’s surprised; he didn’t expect to be called by that name. His own eyes dart over to the redhead, and he blinks back into focus. The man is still smiling at him, though there’s a knowing look in his expression that makes heat rise to the blond’s face.

“Y-yeah, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he replies dumbly. He tries to salvage whatever first impression he should be making. “Kihyun has told us a lot about you. I’m not sure whether to shake your hand or hit you after some of the things he’s said.”

The boy at Minhyuk’s side snorts in amusement at that, earning a chagrined look from his companion. “Kihyunnie exaggerates, I’m sure.” The redhead laughs good-naturedly. “Seriously, I’m an angel.”

“You’re more like a devil with your red hair,” the still-nameless boy comments, casually poking at the other’s shoulder.

Minhyuk swats his hand away. “Yah, you’re not any better. Introduce yourself.”

The dark-haired boy offers a short nod. “It’s nice to meet you all. I’m Minhyuk’s childhood friend, Chae Hyungwon.”

Hoseok’s entire world closes in on that moment, on the syllables leaving the beautiful boy’s lips. _Chae Hyungwon_. Something in his chest seizes, the air fleeing his lungs. His heart crashes against his rib cage, beating fast and hard. He can’t so much as breathe as he feels electricity running through his veins. _Chae Hyungwon_ , the boy’s name is _Chae Hyungwon_. It’s the same name printed on Hoseok’s wrist. This boy in front of him is his very own soulmate. Hoseok found him.

Beside him, Jooheon is starting to speak, to introduce himself, but Hoseok doesn’t hear him, only focused on the boy with his soulmate’s name. Rational thought leaves him. “Shin Hoseok,” he blurts out loudly, though he doesn’t hear his own voice well over the sound of blood rushing through his head. Hyungwon looks at him in surprise, confused by Hoseok’s intense gaze on him. The blond swallows nervously. “Wonho is only my stage name. My real name is Shin Hoseok.”

Hyungwon nods very slowly, not even a spark of clarity or recognition to be seen in his expression. “It’s nice to meet you,” he says in a tentative voice.

The songwriter frowns. “You don’t recognize me?” Hyungwon should know his name; it’s printed on his wrist. They’re soulmates, after all. Hoseok knows it’s him; it has to be.

But Hyungwon shakes his head. “No, I don’t know you.”

In the wake of their brief exchange, the table is silent. Kihyun has gone pale, eyes glued to the tabletop in front of him. Minhyuk attentively watches Hoseok’s face curiously, a weird sort of realization settling over his expression. Jooheon seems caught between a rock and a hard place as his eyes flit from Hoseok to Kihyun. The blond swallows down the sudden burst of emotion threatening to spill from his lips. Nausea starts to settle in the pit of his stomach as he pulls up his sleeve and presents his wrist to the taller male in front of him. Plainly, he says, “You’re my soulmate.”

Hyungwon blinks disbelievingly, and beside him Minhyuk lets out a low whistle. The dark-haired male suddenly gets defensive, shoving his friend. “Yah, _very funny_ ,” he gripes, face twisting with annoyance. He turns back to Hoseok with a grimace. “Nice job faking those marks. But you’re not my soulmate—nice try, though. Is Shin Hoseok even your real name?”

This time it’s Hoseok who is taken off guard. “What?”

“Hyungwonnie, I didn’t do anything!” Minhyuk swears. “I didn’t even know! Kihyunnie, tell him I didn’t set this up.” He looks guilty, though, a knowing look playing on his features. He obviously figured something out. But Kihyun is only looking at Hoseok now, his own expression stricken.

Hoseok feels a bit dizzy as he says, “I don’t understand,” and peers pleadingly up at the boy with his soulmate’s name.

Hyungwon makes a disgruntled noise, swiftly yanking up his own sleeve with a strange mix of impatience and grace. “See? Not Shin Hoseok. You aren’t my soulmate, even if that is your real name.” He brandishes his wrist, and it takes all Hoseok has in him not to throw up right there. The universe must be playing some kind of cruel joke on him. He can’t breathe as his eyes uselessly trace the words tattooed on the skin of the boy with his own soulmate’s name.

The name on Chae Hyungwon’s wrist is indeed not Shin Hoseok. The name on Chae Hyungwon’s wrist is Son Hyunwoo.


	2. ストリーミングハート

Hoseok can’t get out of the cafe fast enough. He mumbles an absent apology (to who, he’s not sure) before quickly getting up from the table and hurrying out the door. He hears someone call after him, but he doesn't pause as the door closes behind him. He’s so embarrassed, but more than that he’s frantic and confused. Hoseok’s soulmate doesn’t have his name. How can Hyungwon have Hyunwoo’s name?

He’s heard of rare stories like this, in which a person finds their soulmate, only to discover their supposed other half has someone else’s name on their wrist. But this— _this_ situation is too much, isn’t it? Hoseok’s soulmate has Hoseok’s _boyfriend’s_ name on his wrist. That should be the definition of cruel irony.

He hasn’t walked very far away from the cafe when he hears another familiar yell of his name. Hoseok stops dead in his tracks, sullenly waits for Kihyun to catch up. The photographer rushes over to him, out of breath by the time he reaches his friend. The blond doesn’t say a word as he waits for Kihyun to collect himself. The other has the audacity to offer an apologetic look akin to that of a puppy caught doing something he shouldn’t have. “Hyung,” he starts haltingly, gauging the taller male’s reaction. “I’m—are you alright?”

 _Is he serious_? Hoseok wants to scoff, but doesn’t quite trust himself not to cry instead. His gaze falls to the ground. “You knew,” he accuses lamely, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the pavement.

Kihyun nods, pursing his lips. “Minhyuk talks about him a lot, and of course I recognized his name, so I asked if Hyungwon had your name on his wrist. Believe it or not, I was as shocked as you were when he told me Hyungwon’s soulmate is Hyunwoo-hyung. I couldn’t introduce you to either of them after he said Hyungwon has Hyunwoo-hyung’s name. That’s why I used your stage names with him.”

“You should have told me,” Hoseok mumbles. He feels cheated. This isn’t how his first meeting with his soulmate is supposed to go; Chae Hyungwon isn’t supposed to have anyone’s name on his wrist aside from Hoseok’s own. And Kihyun had certainly made it worse by not warning him when he was clearly aware of the situation.

The younger student grimaces. “Well… I asked Hyunwoo-hyung about it, and he said I shouldn’t say anything—,”

“You told _Hyunwoo_ but you didn’t tell _me_?” Hoseok emphasizes incredulously.

“I didn’t know what else to do!” he defends. “I couldn’t just interfere with you and your soulmate, but I couldn’t just say nothing. I asked him what he thought I should do, and he was the one who told me not to say anything.”

“Just because we’re dating, that doesn’t mean he gets to make that kind of decision,” the songwriter argues. “ _My_ soulmate isn’t his business—if you were going to tell anyone, it should have been me! You really—you just let me embarrass myself in front of everyone in there!”

“I didn’t expect him to react like that—you can’t blame me for your soulmate acting like a dick.”

Hoseok flinches. It’s true that Hyungwon hadn’t been very forgiving with how he reacted to Hoseok’s soulmate markings, but the blond doesn’t hold it against him. He can’t imagine he’d react too positively to someone claiming to be his soulmate and their name didn’t match the one on his own wrist. “He wasn’t being a dick. He was probably just surprised.”

“Oh c’mon—he pretty much called you a liar.” Kihyun tries, but quickly folds. “Right, well, it would have been awkward either way.”

“It could have been a helluva lot less humiliating,” Hoseok mutters. He still feels like crying as he pushes out a frustrated breath between his teeth. It’s not fair. “How does this even make sense? Hyunwoo doesn’t even have a soulmate.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen. “Wait—he never showed you?”

The question is akin to getting smacked in the face with a wet fish. Hoseok blinks hard, slowly focusing on the dark-haired photographer in front of him. Kihyun swallows dryly as he realizes what he’d just said, and the two students stare each other down. Ice runs through Hoseok’s veins as he barely manages to utter, “I have to go,” and stumbles back before turning and taking off down the street. Kihyun yells after him, but Hoseok hardly registers it as he rushes towards his shared home.

Although they’d known each other for years, Hoseok has never seen Hyunwoo’s wrist. The dark-haired dancer always kept it covered, and had become even more cautious with it once they’d started dating. Hoseok figured this was out of the shame of having no markings. He offered once to write his name there, something for Hyunwoo to show off instead of feeling the need to hide the empty space there. But the older male declined, saying, “There’s no point. My name still wouldn’t be on your wrist.” Hyunwoo said his wrist was blank, everyone acted like his wrist was blank, and so Hoseok believed him without question. Why wouldn’t he? Hyunwoo had no reason to lie.

Or at least, that’s what Hoseok thought.

Hoseok doesn’t register anything on the trip back to his university. Trapped in the terrifying spiral of his own thoughts, the blond moves on autopilot as he catches the train before walking from the station to his dorm. His hands visibly shake as he unlocks the door and steps inside the space. He expects to be alone, so he’s caught off guard when Hyunwoo glances up from the kitchen table. On his part, the choreographer also seems surprised.

“You’re back early,” he observes as he gets up to greet his boyfriend. “How was—?”

“Give me your wrist,” Hoseok blurts out, not giving him time to finish. His heartbeat is loud enough that he can hear the blood rushing through his head.

The dark-haired male blinks at him uncomprehendingly. “What?”

“Give me your wrist. I want to see it,” the blond repeats with more urgently. He holds his hand out expectantly, not letting up even when Hyunwoo tenses. Hoseok stares him down, unrelenting as he waits. The older male hesitates, and it breaks the songwriter’s thin patience. “If you have nothing to hide, then you shouldn’t keep it away from me!”

Hyunwoo concedes mutely, offering his covered arm. Hoseok is hardly careful as he pulls Hyunwoo’s sleeve up, starts peeling the sweatband down. His heart is racing, his confidence wavering dangerously. He almost wants to yank his boyfriend’s sleeve back down and forget about this. He won’t be able to stand it if Hyungwon’s name is there, if _any_ name is there. If Hyunwoo has been lying to him the entire time they’ve known each other, Hoseok doesn’t know how he’ll react.

His heart plummets when he finally wracks up the courage to peel away the sweatband and finds words inked there. He wants to cry, retch, _scream_. Coherent thoughts refuse to register, the blond unable to form words to describe how distraught he feels in that moment. Dazedly, he pulls his gaze back up to Hyunwoo’s face. The dancer smiles at him with guilt and shame. “I kept it a secret because I didn’t want you to pity me. I didn’t want you to feel sorry that you didn’t have my name.”

Tears blur Hoseok’s vision and threaten to spill from his eyes as he slowly reaches over to trace his fingers along the name scrawled on the sun-kissed skin of the love of his life. _Shin Hoseok_. Hyunwoo has been with his soulmate this whole time, and all Hoseok has been doing was searching for someone else. For years, Hyunwoo had listened to his other half, his meant-to-be, ramble on and on about another man, and Hoseok had never known. Hyunwoo had to live for so long with the excruciating thought that his own soulmate would inevitably leave him for someone else. Hoseok can’t even imagine how painful that must have been. The idea alone leaves Hoseok devastated.

“W-why didn’t you tell me?” he chokes out. His fingers keep brushing over his own name on Hyunwoo’s skin. It feels so surreal. His mind almost refuses to process what is clearly in front of him.

“I knew it would hurt you.” Hyunwoo responds gently. Hoseok drags his gaze back up to his boyfriend’s face, finds Hyunwoo watching him intently with a soft expression. “I didn’t want to burden you.”

Hoseok blinks, hot tears spilling down his face. He quickly wipes them away, letting Hyunwoo’s arm fall back to the older male’s side. “Did you really think I’d never find out?”

“I didn’t want you to feel like you were stuck with me just because I have your name.” he tries to explain. “I wanted you to feel free to make your own choice.”

“What about you?” Hoseok counters, and he gives up on holding back his tears. He snivels pathetically as the guilt starts to set in. “How can you be so selfless about this?”

Hyunwoo smiles warmly, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “I trust you to do the right thing, Hoseok, whether that’s staying with me or leaving for your soulmate. I only want you to be happy.”

“You’re too good for me,” Hoseok hiccups, burying his face in the crook of the older male’s neck. He doesn’t deserve someone as perfect as Hyunwoo. How could he ever entertain the thought of leaving him? No one could be more suited for each other as Hyunwoo and Hoseok are. They aren’t the mistake—Chae Hyungwon is.

(He takes back that thought as soon as it filters through his mind. None of them are a mistake, he’s certain, and it’s cruel to say Chae Hyungwon is one simply because he’s the last to meet his soulmate.)

Hyunwoo is steadfast and holds Hoseok as the songwriter calms down. The blond laughs out of relief, an overwhelming wave of adoration for the other washing over him. “I love you so, so much,” he says as he pulls away enough to wipe the remaining tears from his eyes. “You know I could never leave you.”

The choreographer lifts his marked wrist again. “I’m stuck with you,” he agrees, laughing at the mock-affronted look Hoseok gives him. His eyes turn up into amused crescents, and the sight is so endearing that Hoseok can’t even pretend to be mad.

“How can you be so cute without even trying? It’s not fair,” he whines, but grins when Hyunwoo rolls his eyes good-naturedly.

“You can ask yourself that,” is all he replies with as he gives a light push to the younger dancer’s shoulder. He sobers, however, joyful expression fading for something more serious. “Why were you so panicked about my wrist?”

“Oh,” Hoseok’s countenance turns sheepish. “I met Hyungwon, and he has your name instead of mine. Kihyun let it slip that you lied about your wrist, so I was terrified you had the same name on your wrist that I do. I never would’ve guessed you had my name all this time…” His gaze trails back down to Hyunwoo’s left wrist. He wants to touch the other’s markings again. “I wish you would’ve told me. It’d have made everything easier for all of us.”

The dark-haired dancer gives him a wide-eyed look, surprised. “Uh, I actually didn’t know he had my name on his wrist. I thought he’d have yours.”

“But Kihyun said he told you,” Hoseok says slowly.

Hyunwoo gives a nervous laugh. “He might have tried, but I kind of stopped listening to him after he said he found Chae Hyungwon. I figured it was over for me at that point.”

“It’s not though. This could be the beginning to something better,” Hoseok says, getting excited now. He’s never heard of this before, but there’s no way this is a bad thing. “We’ll talk to Hyungwon, and we’ll work something out. If… if we all have each other’s’ names, that has to mean we all three belong to each other, right?” The idea isn’t an unpleasant one. It’s not like he’s never seen people with more than one romantic partner; in fact, it’s not exactly rare for those without soulmate markings to take up that type of relationship with others with their same circumstances. For them, it provides a sense of security. People with markings don’t tend to see a need for it, as they already know they belong to someone and will end up with them eventually without worry. But if Hoseok really has two people he belongs to… maybe it’s unfair, but it makes him feel as giddy as he does cautious. “That’s crazy if we all really have two soulm—,”

“I don’t want him.” Hyunwoo interrupts bluntly, the finality in his tone startling the blond.

“W-what do you mean?”

The choreographer’s gaze bores into his boyfriend’s, not a trace of amusement in his eyes. “I only want you, Hoseok. It’s only ever been you, I’ve never known anyone else. I don’t want Chae Hyungwon, not when you’re the only one I need. I’ve never even wanted to know him.”

“But…” Hoseok feels at a loss here. “He’s my soulmate. You’re _his_ soulmate.”

“ _You’re_ my only soulmate, Hoseok.” Hyunwoo concludes. He sighs. “It’s not like I want you to belong to me or anything, and I’m okay if you want him. You’re free to make your own decisions. It’s just… I’ve never considered Chae Hyungwon as anything more than the man who would one day take away the person that makes me happier than anything else.”

That remark stings. Hoseok winces, but he isn’t giving up. “You should at least get to know him before you decide you don’t want him. He’s a—,” the blond wants to call Hyungwon a nice guy, but honestly Kihyun hadn’t exactly been wrong about the taller male being more on the cold side. He switches gears, “—a close friend of Kihyun’s soulmate. We’ll probably have to see him a lot, if we want to get along with Minhyuk.” Hyunwoo doesn’t look any more convinced, and Hoseok can see him dismissing the conversation. He presses further, trying to appeal to his boyfriend’s caring nature. “Come on, Hyung… How do you think he’ll feel if his soulmate rejects him before he even meets him? Do you really want to hurt him so badly?”

“Jooheon got through it in one piece, didn’t he? Chae Hyungwon will be fine,” Hyunwoo bites back in a rare moment of frustration.

Hoseok freezes, a rush of heartache gripping him tightly. He’d give anything to forget that point in his and Jooheon’s lives, the point in which he nearly lost his best friend because of some self-righteous asshole. “Barely,” he chokes out. “And even now, Jooheonie isn’t the same. Are you really trying to say you’re okay with putting someone through that agony without even talking to him first? I can’t believe, of all people, _you_ would be the person to suggest something so horrible.”

Hyunwoo diverts his gaze out of guilt, shoulders tensing before slumping back. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I just don’t think I can do it. You know I’m willing to do a lot for you, Hoseok, but this is different.” And that’s all he’s willing to say on the topic for the rest of the night.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Chae Hyungwon’s soulmate marks are nothing more than a perfect excuse to tell so-called potential suitors to _fuck off_.

Contradictory to his quiet, isolated nature, Hyungwon has always been popular. His good looks alone are enough to get him noticed, but being the best friend of the loud-mouthed, friendly-with-everyone Lee Minhyuk had pulled him to the top of their schools’ popularity ladders with the other. He never wanted to be popular, nor did he care to be liked by his peers, but with Minhyuk always hanging off him, he really didn’t have a choice. So he put up with people pretending to be his friend, and he did what he could to block them out—because Minhyuk was worth it. But it never stopped being annoying.

It only gets worse as he gets older. In high school, he takes up modelling gigs after getting scouted by a family friend (it’s better than spending his free time alone at home). He doesn’t get any high-profile jobs, only local shoots, but apparently it’s enough to garner the attention of his school’s gossip tree. That’s when the attention gets ugly. The people clamoring for him start to want to know him for more than just because of Minhyuk.

Whenever he gets asked out, he cites he’s not interested in anyone but his soulmate. This deters most people. Although it’s not as popular as an ideal as it used to be, plenty of people decide to wait for their soulmates before dating. Hyungwon doesn’t personally care, doesn’t want to date at all anymore, but it makes for a good excuse to get out of awkward situations when he’s approached for such reasons. However, this excuse does nothing to stop the persistent boys.

The really insistent ones will claim they _are_ his soulmate, mostly as some kind of pick up line but sometimes with enough vehemence that it reeks of desperation. Hyungwon hopes the frankly immature behavior will stop once he graduates high school, but it unfortunately follows him into university. He swears he’s already rejected the entire school by this point, but somehow there are still students popping out of the woodworks in their attempts to woo him. How they haven’t gotten the memo to just leave him alone already is beyond him.

The funny thing is, he isn’t even interested in his stupid soulmate at this point. He only wants Minhyuk by his side (at least until the redhead decides to leave him behind, just as everyone else he’d ever considered himself close to had done).

So when Shin Hoseok claims to be his soulmate, Hyungwon’s had enough. He’s hurt, mostly because the fact Shin Hoseok has Hyungwon’s name on his wrist means he’d prepared to do this—which also means Minhyuk had to have told him to do it. “You know how much I hate that,” he snaps, not really caring about how he must appear to the people on the streets around them as they walk home from the café. They hadn’t stayed long, as Hyungwon had stormed out not long after Hoseok and Kihyun left, Minhyuk hot on his heels with an endless stream of excuses rolling off his tongue. “Now you’ve gone and ruined all the introductions. Is this why you waited so long?”

“Hyungwonnie, I swear to _god_ I didn’t say anything—I didn’t even know his _real name_.” Minhyuk protests, doing his best to placate the model.

“You obviously did if he’s got my name on his wrist!” Hyungwon sniffs, annoyedly picking at his jacket. He supposes he should have expected this; Minhyuk always found it so funny.

“Yah, if anyone lied about your soulmates, it’s Kihyun-ah.” Minhyuk grumbles. “I can’t believe he didn’t just tell me about his friend. I could have really helped him out—,”

“Well now you can let him know that I’m not interested in his friend’s claims.” Hyungwon snarks back. “He’s not my soulmate, and you can’t prove to me that I’m his.”

The redhead lets out a frustrated noise. “You’re being so _childish_ about this—I thought you were supposed to be the mature one here. Come _on_ , didn’t you feel anything when you met him?”

Well sure, The model had felt _something_ , not that he was going to put a word to it. There was definitely some kind of pull to study the blond’s handsome features. But that’s only because he’s extraordinarily good-looking, in a way that Hyungwon has only ever seen other models and celebrities be. He was certainly eye-catching thanks to his envied pale complexion, warm and inviting mocha eyes, admittedly-cute smile, and endearing disposition—but it was nothing Hyungwon would describe as an undeniable need to be by the man’s side, no internal sign to tell Hyungwon that the man is his soulmate. And it still didn’t change the fact that the name on Hyungwon’s wrist is not Shin Hoseok. Although, again, it’s not like he’s quite inclined to meet his actual soulmate either.

If he felt like being honest, he would admit that he holds some resentment for Son Hyunwoo. Hyungwon wasn’t always jaded towards his soulmate, but since he’d started high school, he’d known his own soulmate wasn’t even interested in him. All too vividly, he remembers when he’d felt his soulmate’s intense longing and adoration for the first time—and consequently recalls his own crushed heart when he’d realized those feelings weren’t even for him, the one _made_ to be with the other. Hyungwon is quite aware of the fact that Son Hyunwoo is hopelessly in love with someone who is not Chae Hyungwon.

So he just rolls his eyes at Minhyuk and hisses, “Of course not—he’s not my soulmate.”

Minhyuk groans loudly. “Shut _up_ , you were _totally_ checking him out.”

Hyungwon glares in hopes of distracting the other from the heat rising to his face. “I was _not_!”

The redhead cackles, jumping away when the model raises his hand threateningly. Unfortunately, he still doesn’t seem to have gotten the message. “Ahh, you’re so lucky. Hoseok is _really_ hot. Hyunwoo better be a looker too, or else he’s gonna be in real trouble.”

“Christ—who cares what either of them look like?” Hyungwon picks up his walking pace as he catches sight of their apartment building, and Minhyuk has to jog to keep up with the other’s long strides.

No further words are exchanged between them as the redhead finally decides to shut his mouth as they take the elevator up to their floor. It’s only when Hyungwon has unlocked their apartment door that the older male pushes past him to get into the room first that he shrieks, “ _Changkyun-ah_ !”

“What?” a voice deeper inside the apartment yells back with exasperation, and after a moment, their youngest roommate peeks his head around the corner.

The oldest walks over to him, smiling sweetly as he wraps his arm around the other boy’s shoulders. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re back—and that we met Hyungwonnie’s soulmate earlier—,”

“Will you drop it already? He’s not my soulmate!”

“—and you should tell him that he needs to give the poor boy a chance instead of being an asshole about it.” Minhyuk concludes, already facing Hyungwon with a triumphant grin.

Changkyun gives him a flat, sleepy look. “Soulmates are overrated,” he deadpans. Minhyuk’s expression falls, indignant.

Hyungwon smirks, nods earnestly. “See, even the brat agrees with me.”

Wounded but not defeated, Minhyuk switches tactics. “Okay, Changkyun has _zero_ room to talk about whether or not soulmates are ‘overrated’. _Besides_ , how can you say that when you’ve hardly talked to Hoseok, and haven’t even met Hyunwoo?”

Changkyun frowns, “Who’s Hoseok?”

“Because I don’t want to,” Hyungwon bites back, ignoring the younger boy. “Just like Hyunwoo doesn’t want to meet me.”

Minhyuk frowns, at least having the decency to look a little sympathetic. “Come on, Hyungwonnie… I’m sure it’s not what you think.”

The model rolls his eyes. “I don’t know what else it could be, Hyung.” He knows Hyunwoo worries about meeting him. Ever since he’d fallen in love, Hyunwoo has always had this _fear_ that comes hand-in-hand with dating anyone other than your soulmate—fear that you’ll find them, and have to tell them you don’t need them. Hyungwon knows this from personal experience, from the one relationship he’d allowed himself to have. Recently, Hyunwoo had been incredibly stressed over these feelings, near inconsolable (not that Hyungwon had tried to comfort him; he’d cut off his own emotions from his soulmate a long time ago). Serves him right, honestly. He should feel torn apart over abandoning his soulmate.

Not that Hyungwon cares, though.

Definitely not.

Changkyun purses his lips, glancing between his two roommates. “Oookay, obviously I’m missing something here,” he says, prompting.

He goes ignored as Minhyuk pouts. “I can’t believe it upset you enough that you had to run out of the café like that. You didn’t even meet _my_ soulmate—or let me have any time with him,”

“You didn’t have to follow me,” Hyungwon mutters.

“You had the apartment keys, and I can’t trust either of you to let me in.”

“I should kick you out right now,” Hyungwon agrees.

“ _Oh my god_ , stop arguing already,” Changkyun groans. “ _Some of us_ were planning to be productive and study today, and no one can concentrate when you two go at it.”

Minhyuk throws his hands up in defeat. “Okay, fine, I’ll drop it—for now. But I’m not giving up on this! Even if you don’t want to date him, I’m going to make sure you at least become friends. Otherwise family dinners will be very awkward.” He nods sagely.

This time, Hyungwon doesn’t hesitate to smack the other across the back of his head.


	3. いかないで

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all in the comments hype this story up too much, omg... thank you for the support <3  
> also there's a couple idols from other groups in this chapter, and i know they're horribly ooc, but please bear with meee ;-;

Back before he started high school, Hyunwoo’s soulmate had been one of the very few constants in his life. Hyunwoo could always count on his soulmate to provide companionship and comfort through their shared link. Although quite emotional, his soulmate was cheerful and happy more often than not. He flung positive energy Hyunwoo’s way, and reacted gratefully when Hyunwoo would tentatively send some back. Whenever his soulmate felt down, he would send support, and his other half would calm down. They have a mutual give and take relationship, a kind that Hyunwoo has never had before. He’s never felt so cared for by anyone, and he can’t help but send all of his love to his soulmate.

Kihyun meets Hoseok first. They’re lab partners in Kihyun’s advanced science class. “I found him,” he says in a rush after school, and Hyunwoo feels his chest soar with elation—until he notices the other’s shifting eyes. “But, uh, he…” Kihyun looks a bit helpless as he tries to explain, until he finally just plainly states, “He doesn’t have your name.”

It’s a devastating statement. Hyunwoo doesn’t even know how to react. He had never considered that his soulmate wouldn’t have his name; who would? It’s an extremely rare occurrence (at this point, Hyunwoo had never heard of such a thing). What is he supposed to do? Is there anything he can do?

“His soulmate’s name is Chae Hyungwon,” Kihyun tells him. “But I think he would be understanding if you told him the situation.” But Hyunwoo only shakes his head.

At the time, he decides the best thing to do is to stay away from Hoseok. He can’t risk Hoseok rejecting him, whether intentional or otherwise. That’s a pain he knows he can’t live through. But if they never meet, Hyunwoo doesn’t have to worry about that.

Kihyun, however, has other ideas. “You need to talk to him,” he pushes frequently. “You can’t ignore him forever, you know! You should at least be friends; soulmates don’t have to be romantically involved. It isn’t fair to either of you to keep this distance between him and you.” Hyunwoo doesn’t listen, though. He feels like it’s a pointless sentiment, and he’s already come to terms with staying away from his soulmate.

Fate works in mysterious ways, however, and seemingly forces the two dancers to meet anyway. The dance competition isn’t their first time meeting, but it is the first time they have a substantial conversation outside of polite small talk. Hoseok _glows_ when he talks of dancing, when he praises Hyunwoo’s crew. The older dancer can’t look away from the other. He feels a deep-rooted bond to Hoseok as something in his chest cries to reach out for him and embrace that warmth. But Hyunwoo’s hands stay stubbornly at his sides. Although Hoseok is his soulmate, he’s painfully reminded the bond is not mutual when he catches a glimpse of Hoseok’s soulmate markings. Kihyun was right, of course, and Hyunwoo is personally faced with the name of the person destined to keep Hoseok out of Hyunwoo’s grasp.

It’s because of this that the dance troupe leader tries to remind himself not to get attached, but he can’t even stick to that plan as Hoseok’s animated mannerisms and friendly engagements have Hyunwoo head-over-heels. He blames the soulmate link on his inability to keep away from Hoseok, or how he can’t seem to tell him no. He ends up getting to know Hoseok quite well after their meeting. He learns how utterly infatuated the younger dancer is with the idea of soulmates, and how he can’t wait to meet his. How can Hyunwoo own up to his lie about his own wrist after hearing how much soulmates mean to Hoseok?

Hyunwoo lives under the fog of Chae Hyungwon’s existence. There isn’t a conversation that goes by without Hoseok mentioning his name at least once. It’s an ever-present reminder that Hyunwoo does not belong here, even if his wrist says otherwise. _Chae Hyungwon_ belongs, _Chae Hyungwon_ is the one Hoseok loves. There isn’t room for Hyunwoo when Hoseok has already filled his heart with _Chae Hyungwon_. It’s hopeless, isn’t it?

He continues to keep his markings covered. It becomes increasingly difficult as he and Hoseok start hanging around each other more and more often. Hyunwoo feels almost magnetized to the other, unable to deny Hoseok’s every beck and call. Their relationship grows quickly, but it never reaches the peak that Hyunwoo’s heart longs for, begs for. Hoseok gets Hyunwoo wrapped around his finger so easily it’s almost scary.

Lim Jaebum, Hyunwoo’s closest friend and fellow J-HYPE dancer, makes a similar comment as Hyunwoo wraps up one of their practices early. He has plans to practice with Hoseok that evening and needed the extra time to get ready. Jaebum pulls him aside after the other two dancers have stepped out. “It’s unfair that he pushes you around like this,” the younger male comments. “Does he know we’ve got an important stage coming up and need to practice? Or does he really just enjoy bossing you around that much?”

“He isn’t bossing me around,” Hyunwoo mumbles. “And we’ve got the stage down perfectly at this point. I just… wanna make him happy.”

Jaebum breathes a quiet sigh. “You know what I think would make him happy? If you were upfront with him about your soulmate marks.” Hyunwoo gives him a flat look, and Jaebum shakes his head. “I know, I get why you won’t. Okay? It just seems unfair to you. He could just end up using you if you don’t say anything, because he thinks your wrist is blank. You know how some people are, they think blank wrists means the person has no ability to form romantic attachments, or some just use them to get satisfaction until they find their soulmate. I don’t want you to end up getting hurt, especially not by the person who should be taking care of you.”

“Hoseok isn’t that kind of guy.” Hyunwoo denies. “Besides, we aren’t romantic.”

“That’s the problem,” Jaebum quips, smirking at the look Hyunwoo throws at him. “But seriously, Hyung, what’s wrong with telling him how things really are? What’s the point of lying? Hoseok doesn’t know his other soulmate. Who knows when he’ll meet him? You could be happy with him now. And you never know—maybe he’ll love you more than his other soulmate. I bet a million won you’re a much better guy than whoever Hoseok’s other soulmate is. So why not give it a shot?”

“Because Hoseok wants Chae Hyungwon—not me.” Hyunwoo sighs. He’s over this conversation. “Hoseok wants a mutual love story, not some poor sap pining over him and guilting him into a relationship.”

Jaebum opens his mouth to counter, but he’s interrupted by a tentative call of, “H-Hyung?” Both dancers glance up, see their maknae, Park Jinyoung, hovering in the studio’s door frame. He swallows nervously at the attention. “Uh… how much longer will you be?” he asks, expression apologetic.

“Sorry, Jinyoung-ah, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting. We’ll go home soon.” Jaebum promises. Jinyoung nods, edging out of the studio again. Jaebum turns back to Hyunwoo. “Anyway, who cares about Chae Hyungwon? Fuck him. You found your soulmate first. Spend as much time with him as you can before the time comes for Hoseok to make his decision. I’ll help you lick your wounds if he really does have the guts to reject you. I won’t let you fall, Hyung.”

Hyunwoo smiles weakly, but he gets no opportunity to reply as another voice interrupts. “ _Yah_ , Jaebummie! Hurry up! You’re supposed to be treating us to chicken right now!” the loudest member of their troupe, Yoo Youngjae, hollers, dragging Jinyoung back into the practice room behind him.

Jaebum pulls a disgruntled expression. “’Jaebum-hyung’,” he corrects, annoyed.

“You’re only eighteen days older than me anyway,” Youngjae huffs.

“You lost any right to call me by familiars when you lied about your birthday and claimed you were older,” Jaebum snarks back. He sighs again as he turns to Hyunwoo. “Guess we better go. Are you coming over tonight?”

The crew leader shakes his head. “No, Mom wants me back home. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Jaebum offers a parting nod, and Jinyoung bows as Youngjae gives a lazy wave. Hyunwoo tells them all ‘good night’ before leaving the studio. His heart feels heavy as he texts Hoseok that he’s on his way, but it lifts again once he sees the other’s smiling face and hears him call Hyunwoo’s name in excitement.

Maybe Jaebum is right; maybe Hyunwoo can compete against Chae Hyungwon. There is a possibility that Hyunwoo and Hoseok can live a happy life together without Chae Hyungwon to interfere. Hoseok could love him.

But Hyunwoo won’t confess to his soulmate markings nor his feelings. He’ll let Hoseok come to him. If they’re going to be in a relationship, Hyunwoo wants it to be mutual. He can’t confess until Hoseok does. That’s the only outcome that will make it feel real.

Hyunwoo waits for so long, but when it finally happens, when Hoseok finally confesses to being in love with Hyunwoo, it’s the happiest and most blissful moment he’s ever experienced. It’s perfect from there—too perfect, in hindsight. Hyunwoo is guilty for stealing Chae Hyungwon away from his soulmate—but Hoseok is also his own soulmate, so he doesn’t feel too bad. Some days he feels sorry, but most days he is afraid of Chae Hyungwon, of what will happen once he appears in their lives. There is a point, however, in which he stops thinking of Chae Hyungwon. Hoseok stops mentioning him so often, and he’s happy with Hyunwoo. The love they share is fervent, unending—why should he be afraid of Chae Hyungwon when Hoseok is so loyal?

His shaky confidence is easily toppled when Kihyun pulls him aside one day. “I found him,” he says, this time slow and apologetic, and Hyunwoo’s heart sinks with defeat, and that’s all he needs to hear to understand his short-lived happiness is over.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Hoseok properly meets Minhyuk not long after the whole mess at the café. It’s just him, Kihyun, and Minhyuk as they meet for coffee after classes one day. Hoseok is taken off guard when Kihyun sends him a text telling him to meet with them at a coffee shop nearby the dancer’s university. That message is followed by a selca, taken by Minhyuk as he smiles brilliantly at the camera and has an arm wrapped around Kihyun’s neck to tug him into the photo. Kihyun looks annoyed, not a trace of amusement. Hoseok huffs out a quiet laugh. He thinks he might like the photographer’s soulmate after all.

He obliges the request, quickly finding the pair as he enters the small café. He greets them with a smile, watching Minhyuk’s expression brighten as the blond sits across from them. “Hi Hoseokkie!” the redhead greets with a wide grin of his own. The blond raises an eyebrow at the overly-friendly greeting, sees Kihyun pull a displeased expression, but he doesn’t get the opportunity to question it before the redhead continues. “How have you been? I should probably apologize for Hyungwonnie’s behavior last time we met. He’s just… sensitive about the topic of his soulmate.”

Hoseok nods, “It’s okay. I mean, I don’t quite understand, but I’m not mad or anything.”

Minhyuk nods slowly. “So, Kihyunnie told me about your whole soulmate situation.” He leans forward, sunshiny disposition unwavering as he asks, “What are you planning to do about it?”

The blond is taken off-guard. Minhyuk certainly doesn’t beat around the bush. Cautious, Hoseok answers, “Well of course I’d like to properly meet Hyungwon. It’s an… awkward situation, I guess, and I would like to explain everything to him as best I can. I’d like to be his friend.”

“ _Just_ his friend?” Minhyuk presses.

The dancer shrugs, “It depends on how he feels about me and Hyunwoo,” he answers quietly. His eyes dart over to Kihyun, but the photographer isn’t looking in their direction, appearing to not even be paying attention. He fights the frown pulling at his lips as he looks back to Minhyuk.

The redhead relaxes, settling back in his seat. “I think you’re sincere,” he nods. “You’re Kihyunnie’s friend, so you can’t be so bad.” He nudges the photographer, startling him. Minhyuk smiles at him, but Kihyun only gives a weak one back. The older quickly turns back to Hoseok. “But… as I’m sure you saw from your first meeting with him, Hyungwonnie’s not very trusting. He’s not going to be very willing to talk about soulmates without meeting his own.”

“I’m working on it,” the songwriter says, nodding in understanding. “But… Hyunwoo-ah doesn’t want to meet him.”

“Oh?” Minhyuk blinks, head tilting in question. “Why not?”

Hoseok purses his lips, not sure how willing he is to explain Hyunwoo’s feelings to someone he hardly knows. But Minhyuk isn’t a stranger; he’s Kihyun’s soulmate and Hyungwon’s best friend. He should be able to be open with him, right? He looks to Kihyun again, but the look he gives doesn’t help either way. It seems like Kihyun is leaving the decision up to him. Is it right of him to explain in Hyunwoo’s place?

Minhyuk must see the confliction on his face as he sighs. “I understand that it must be difficult for you to explain someone else’s feelings to someone you barely know. But I have to protect my friend too, you know? I’m not going to push this if you and Hyunwoo aren’t open to it. If there’s a possibility of either of you rejecting Hyungwon, I don’t want you near him.”

Getting rejected by a soulmate is different from getting rejected by anyone else. If the rejection isn’t mutual, the person being pushed away by their soulmate will suffer near-unbearable agony, stemmed from the heartache of being cut off from their meant-to-be. It’s rare to see a prolonged case, as most people either learn to move on as well, or their soulmate comes back. Most people can’t go more than a month under that kind of stress and pain, and more often than not, rejection that isn’t reciprocated nor revoked results in death.

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok agrees. “I’m trying to talk him into having an open mind, but I think he’s a bit jaded towards Hyungwon.”

Minhyuk frowns. “What, so he has a bad opinion of Hyungwon? Tell him that’s unreasonable.”

Hoseok shakes his head. “He said… he’s only seen Hyungwon as the one that would take me away from him, so he’s a little resentful.” The blond offers another shrug, uncomfortable trying to explain Hyunwoo’s private thoughts in such a public setting. He feels guilty, and tries to switch tracks. “What about Hyungwon? How does he feel about this?”

The redhead gives a pressed smile. “Hyungwonnie just feels a little hurt, is all. He’s struggled with his soulmate lately. He acts like he doesn’t care about his soulmate, but I know it bothers him. He needs his soulmate, but if Hyunwoo isn’t going to be open about whatever this is between you three, it’s not going to make him feel any better. You don’t have to worry about him rejecting you, he would never do that, but from what you’ve said, I can’t trust that either of you will take care of him. I want to help you, Hoseokkie, but I have to put my friend’s wellbeing first here.” Hoseok nods, understanding but still a little disappointed. He hoped Hyungwon had changed his mind after their encounter, but it doesn’t sound like it. If he isn’t enthusiastic about meeting Hyunwoo and Hoseok, the blond doesn’t think this will work.

As if sensing his thoughts, Minhyuk straightens up. “Tell you what. If you keep talking to Hyunwoo, I’ll do my best to convince Hyungwonnie to meet with you.”

“Deal,” Hoseok easily agrees, excited at the prospect.

Minhyuk beams at him. “Right—now, how about we get to know each other over some cake?”

They sit and talk for a while, and it’s fun. Hoseok finds that Minhyuk is very bright and funny, and he greatly enjoys learning more about him. He’s clearly all about Kihyun as well with how he leans against him and perpetually reaches for him. It’s sweet, Hoseok thinks. He’s glad Kihyun’s soulmate is so friendly and open. Although before the photographer had seemed uncomfortable, he seems to have relaxed after the conversation about soulmates is put aside.

Minhyuk ends up having to leave first after getting a call from one of his roommates, leaving the two friends alone together for the first time in months. Kihyun smiles and waves as Minhyuk blows him a kiss goodbye, but quickly drops it after Minhyuk is out of the café. Hoseok lifts an eyebrow. “What was that about?”

“Hm? Oh, I guess I’m just tired.” Kihyun mumbles. “I’ve been kind of stressed about this soulmate thing with you and Hyunwoo. Minhyuk thinks it’s fun, but I’m worried about Hyunwoo-hyung.”

“I’m not going to leave him,” Hoseok promises.

The photographer shrugs. “I’m not saying I think you will. It’s just that I don’t know what he’s going to do about Hyungwon. I’m worried he’ll handle this wrong and end up making the situation worse than it is.”

Hoseok takes a deep breath. “It’ll be okay. He isn’t alone in this. We can work something out, I know it.”

Kihyun just gives him a flat look, sighing. “That’s not exactly what I’m worried about,” he says. “It’s fine. You three will figure out what’s best for you regardless of whatever I say or do. Anyway, I should go too. I have to finish up some projects.” He gives another pressed smile, and leaves Hoseok behind on that strange note.


	4. 愛を懐いて理想を号んだ

Hoseok does not manage to get Hyunwoo to agree to meet with Hyungwon. He spends another week trying his very hardest to get Hyunwoo to meet Hyungwon—even asks the rest of the J-HYPE crew to help convince their leader (Jaebum bluntly and firmly denies any involvement in the matter; Jinyoung quietly echoes Jaebum’s words; Youngjae shrugs and decides he isn’t taking sides for now). The choreographer keeps giving the same excuses to all of Hoseok’s different tactics. He knows Hyunwoo is annoyed by it. He makes it clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with Hyungwon, and that he doesn’t appreciate Hoseok pushing it on him. But Hoseok feels just a little bit desperate.

The longer he goes without seeing Hyungwon, the more anxious he feels. He thought he could keep it under control, that it wouldn’t be any worse than he’d already dealt with, but this pull towards Hyungwon is something he can’t ignore. Hoseok isn’t used to hiding or ignoring his feelings. He doesn’t know how to let go of these emotions, and instead feels he can only act on them. But Hyunwoo won’t indulge him, even continues to distance himself. Hoseok is lost.

He’s feeling a bit hopeless about his situation at this point. He’s worried Minhyuk won’t keep up his promise if Hoseok can’t get Hyunwoo to say yes. But technically, he only ever agreed to simply _talk_ to Hyunwoo (which he did, in fact, do), so Minhyuk should still be held accountable to his end of the deal.

He’s about to ask Kihyun for Minhyuk’s number so he can tell the redhead exactly that when he receives a text message.

> **Unknown** 16:45  
>  hoseokkie!!! it’s minhyuk! i stole your number from kihyunnie (๑˃ᴗ˂) are you free tomorrow at lunch? i’ll be bringing a certain someone with me (^з^)-☆

Hoseok feels nothing but pure thrill rush through his veins as he quickly types back a confirmation. Minhyuk must really be on his side after all if he didn’t even bother to ask if Hyunwoo was willing to go too. Hyungwon must be as insufferable about soulmates as Kihyun used to be. Hoseok is more than willing to try and change his mind, if that’s the case. Mostly, though, he’s elated at the idea of getting to have a real conversation with his soulmate.

He can’t stop thinking about Hyungwon since meeting him. Everything has felt empty since then, like his life is lacking something—some _one_ —that will bring a brand new set of vibrant colors to his world. Very few things he does feel complete now that he knows Hyungwon is within reach, even with Hyunwoo at his side. It’s frustrating. He feels guilty that he can’t feel whole anymore, that he can’t just ignore the cracks that Hyunwoo alone apparently isn’t enough to fill. He feels guilty that thoughts of his brief encounter with Chae Hyungwon help ease the emptiness he suddenly feels. He recalls Hyungwon’s attentive gaze, his cute but contained grin of mischief as he’d teased his friend. The magnetizing feelings he had years ago for Hyunwoo are back, this time more intense with an even greater sense of longing. He wants Hyungwon so badly, wants to hold him in his arms and kiss him gently. It’s a feeling he can’t shake off, even when he settles down with Hyunwoo against his chest. He tries desperately to listen to the rational voice in his head telling him to just enjoy what he has and forget what isn’t his.

But Hyungwon _is_ his—or at least, Hoseok belongs to Hyungwon. The proof of that is printed along the blond’s wrist. That should mean something to Hyungwon, shouldn’t it? It should mean something that he and Hyungwon and Hyunwoo all have each other’s names. Hyungwon can’t possibly brush that aside, can he? He has to feel the same pull Hoseok does.

Has he been thinking of Hoseok since their meeting? Does he feel guilty for denying their bond? Is this distance killing him as much as it’s hurting Hoseok?

He can’t be indifferent. The blond isn’t sure what he’ll do if Hyungwon hasn’t even given him a second thought.

But he must have thought about Hoseok if he’s willing to meet with him now. And Hoseok will clear up whatever misunderstandings lie between them. He’s willing to do all he can to make this work because he realizes he _needs_ this to work. He needs to satiate this pull he feels towards Hyungwon if he doesn’t want to end up going crazy. Even for Hyunwoo’s sake, Hoseok needs to find a way to get ahold of himself.

It’s almost impossible to sleep that night with how excited he is, but somehow he manages. Kihyun texts him the next morning to let him know that he and Jooheon will be joining as well. Hoseok sends back a thumbs up, hopefully his soulmate will have less incentive to walk out with more people there. It takes him longer than he expects to find the restaurant Minhyuk asks him to meet at due to its small size and its location tucked just off the main road. He hopes this meeting goes well and he can hang out with Hyungwon and his friends outside of a café setting.

Hyungwon and Minhyuk are seated at a table towards the far corner of the restaurant, looking as though they’re playfully bickering with each other. From his disposition, Hyungwon looks like he’s in a good mood, and Hoseok hopes it’s enough to give him an open mind. Kihyun and Jooheon haven’t arrived yet, but Hoseok feels confident enough to approach his soulmate without them.

The upbeat mood comes to a halt as Hyungwon’s gaze drifts up and he meets Hoseok’s eyes. The blond smiles, even as the amused smirk fades from the other’s face. “Hi,” Hoseok greets, voice smaller than he intends.

Hyungwon gives him a quiet once-over, settles. “Hello,” he says, almost cautious. Minhyuk looks over, grins when he sees Hoseok in front of him.

“Hoseokkie, you made it!” he cheers. “Did Kihyunnie tell you if he’s coming? He stopped responding after I spammed him with hamster photos.”

“Yeah, he and Jooheon will be here,” he answers, doing his best to drag his gaze from the taller boy beside him. Minhyuk doesn’t seem offended, though. If anything, he seems pleased. “Uh—thanks for inviting me. It’s good to see you again.” The last part is directed more at Hyungwon than Minhyuk, but he’s sure the way his gaze flickers from one to the other says that loud and clear.

Hyungwon glances from Hoseok’s face to his wrist before reluctantly waving him closer. “Sit down,” he says, gesturing to the chair across from him. Hoseok quickly does as he’s instructed, sitting across from his soulmate. Hyungwon reaches a hand out towards him, and Hoseok tentatively places his hand in the other’s. The dark-haired male flips his arm over, Hoseok’s palm facing upwards, and with his free hand he digs something out of his bag. “Do you mind?” he asks, gesturing to Hoseok’s sleeve. The blond goes ahead and pulls it up as Hyungwon places a bottle of makeup remover on the table.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok questions as Hyungwon pours the makeup remover onto a napkin.

The taller male answers by pressing the napkin into Hoseok’s free hand. “Humor me,” he drawls. “Apply it to your soulmate marks. I wanna see if it comes off.”

Hoseok blinks. That wasn’t what he was expected. “Uh… can I ask why you want me to do this?”

“Either to make my point or to prove me wrong.” Hyungwon answers.

Minhyuk covers a laugh with the back of his hand. “I told you, he really is your soulmate. This is really unnecessary,” he says, and Hoseok understands. With that, he scrubs at the markings on his wrist, proving they aren’t fake when the name doesn’t budge from his skin.

Hyungwon stares at his own name on the blond’s wrist for several quiet moments before Hoseok hesitantly speaks up. “So… what now?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, pensive frown twisting unsurely. “I, um, didn’t think about what to do if you weren’t lying.” He looks up with tentative doe eyes.

Hoseok swallows dryly, a relieved smile pulling at his lips. “Chae Hyungwon, I would never lie about you being my soulmate,” he promises. “I know it’s weird. I have your name on my wrist, but my name doesn’t match yours. But I’ve spent my whole life looking for you, and I can’t even begin to describe how I’ve felt since finding you.” He gives the other an earnest look, eyes shining with excitement. “You mean the world to me, Hyungwon.”

The taller male leans away, overwhelmed. “This… this isn’t how this is supposed to go,” Hyungwon says, voice small. “I didn’t even know you were looking for me.”

“That’s okay,” Hoseok reassures. “It’s okay. This is something I’m coming to terms with too, but we can make it work. We can figure it out.”

Hyungwon only stares at him blankly, uncomprehending. Beside him, Minhyuk reaches over to pat his thigh supportively. “See? Your soulmate wants to take care of you.” The dark-haired male smacks his hand away, shooting him a frown.

Tentatively, Hoseok reaches forward, brushes his fingertips against the dark-haired male’s. Hyungwon’s eyes snap back over to the blond as the older male offers him a small smile. “I’m not asking you to date me, or anything. I just want to get to know you.”

Hyungwon’s eyes flit from Hoseok’s face to their hands and then off to the side. He nods. “Yeah, okay, that sounds fair.” He straightens up, retracting his hand and looking at Hoseok seriously. “What do you want to know?”

The blond smiles, amused. “Whatever you want me to know,” he offers coyly.

“Okay,” he nods, considering. “Um… I’m a sophomore attending the same university as Minhyuk. I’m studying literature, and I work part-time.”

Minhyuk rolls his eyes when that’s all his friend offers. “Your favorite color is black, you love shrimp, sleeping is your favorite hobby—,”

Hyungwon elbows him. “Yah, mind your own business.” He purses his lips in something close to an embarrassed pout. “I’m not really good at talking about myself,” he mumbles.

Every little thing he does is so endearing. Hoseok’s falling hard and doing nothing to catch himself. He’s sure there’s hearts in his eyes as he laughs good-naturedly. “Don’t worry, it’s enough just to finally talk to you.” He smiles as pink rises to the other’s cheeks. “Where do you work?” he asks.

Here Hyungwon goes quiet, and Minhyuk turns his intense gaze to him. The younger gives him a strange look, and the redhead smiles. “He does stuff for his company’s social media,” he tells Hoseok. Hyungwon frowns, but the tense line of his shoulders eases. “What about you, Hoseokkie? Are you working? What are you studying?”

“Business management,” Hoseok says. “That’s what I’m studying. I want to help my mom with her business. Sometimes I work there part-time. But I’m involved with a dance crew, that’s where I put a lot of my time.”

Minhyuk lights up, “You’re a dancer? Hyungwon used to— _ow_ ,” he hisses, side-eyeing Hyungwon who glares at him. He opens his mouth, likely to complain, when something behind Hoseok catches the redhead’s attention. “Oh! Kihyunnie!” He gets up, wandering over to the front of the café. Hoseok turns around and sees his two friends by the entrance. He smiles and waves them over, even as Minhyuk corrals them over to their table. Jooheon grins in greeting, sitting beside Hoseok. Kihyun sits with Minhyuk, letting the redhead thread their fingers together. “Kihyunnie~ I missed you~,”

Kihyun squeezes his hand gives him a small smile. He seems to be in a better mood today. “It looks like you guys were having a nice chat,” he comments idly, glancing at Hoseok questioningly. The blond grins, nods. The smile turns pressed as he squeezes Minhyuk’s hand.

Jooheon squeezes in, curling an arm around Hoseok’s shoulders. “Technically we met before, but I didn’t get to introduce myself then. Hi, I’m Lee Jooheon, music production major. I’ve been friends with Kihyun-hyung since high school, and friends with Hoseok-hyung since elementary.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Minhyuk greets. “Kihyunnie has played some of your tracks for me, so I’ve been excited to meet you in person.”

Hoseok grins proudly. “Jooheon-ah is extremely talented! He’s been working on music for years. He helped me when I started composing and writing lyrics. He also hosts a segment on the student radio station on our campus.”

“Only late on certain days, I don’t get prime air time or anything,” Jooheon adds modestly.

“He’s starting a band too,” Kihyun points out.

Hoseok blinks. This was news to him. “Wait, you’re doing what?” How had he missed that information?

Jooheon grins. “I’m starting a band, yeah! I got some guys from university together, and we decided to try it out. Our second rapper had to drop out, though, so I have to find someone to fill that spot.”

Minhyuk’s eyes light up. “Changkyun raps!” he exclaims, frowns, turns to Hyungwon. “Changkyun _raps_ , right?”

The model purses his lips. “I mean, _yeah_.” He turns to Jooheon. “Changkyun-ah is our other roommate. He doesn’t like to share his rapping with us, but the walls in our apartment aren’t too thick. He’s pretty good, even writes his own stuff. Nothing professional, though.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Minhyuk nods vehemently, looking expectantly at Jooheon. “Would you audition him?”

“Uh,” the rapper is clearly taken aback, but he nods. “Yeah, I don’t see why not. Just give him my number and tell him to text me.” The redhead’s eyes flash with glee as he agrees and swaps contact info with the brunet rapper. Jooheon quickly gets over his bemusement, however, as a waitress comes over to take their orders.

The rest of the meal is spent in a casual atmosphere, completely different from their first meeting. Hyungwon is smiling and laughing, and Hoseok can’t help but watch him fondly. The blond enjoys the company of his soulmate and Minhyuk, thinks the two would make good additions to their group. Fleetingly, he thinks of Hyunwoo, how it would be even better if his boyfriend was here as well.

At that thought, his phone chimes with the alert of an incoming text message. Hoseok checks the screen, sees a text from said dancer. _Hope things are going well. I’m taking the trainee home and then I’ll be back._ The songwriter feels a pang of heartache, guilt. He realizes he’s kind of going behind Hyunwoo’s back by doing this. He’d even lied and said he was meeting with his study group tonight. He swallows nervously, suddenly not hungry. Hoseok has been a pretty shitty boyfriend lately, now that he thinks about it. He should go back home and shower his boyfriend in the love he feels for him, instead of pushing uncomfortable topics on him. He pushes his plate away, excuses ready to roll off his tongue. Instead he simply smiles, says, “Sorry, I have to go.” He looks at Hyungwon, expression softening. “It was really good to meet you. I hope we can see each other again soon.”

Hyungwon nods, “Yeah, uh, sounds good. See you later.”

Hoseok bids the rest of the group goodnight, heads out the door as he leaves his part of the bill on the table. Satisfied, Hoseok decides to pick up Hyunwoo’s favorite treat from a convenience store near their university before heading home.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Hyungwon is lost in thought for most of the way home after meeting Hoseok. He feels weird, unsure. How is he supposed to take this? Shin Hoseok was never someone he accounted for in his life. He never expected to meet one soulmate, let alone learn he has a second. And he’s clearly insistent on getting to know Hyungwon… He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

He wonders how Hyunwoo would feel about this. Does he know about Hyungwon and Hoseok? Whose name does he have on his wrist?

(Hyungwon finds himself hoping Hyunwoo has his name, and quickly hides the thought away.)

Minhyuk keeps shooting him glances as the literature student mutely walks along beside him. It’s only when they reach the apartment that the redhead addresses him. “Why didn’t you want Hoseok to know you’re a model?”

The younger male shrugs as he unlocks their door. “You know it makes people see me differently. I don’t want him to sugarcoat his personality just so he can get with me.”

He scoffs. “You becoming a model didn’t make me see you differently, and it didn’t affect—,”

“Please don’t say his name,” Hyungwon interrupts. “We promised not to talk about him.”

The redhead frowns. “Right, well. I don’t think your model status is what’s going to cause Hoseok to ‘sugarcoat’ himself.”

“Which is also why I don’t want him to know anything about my family either,” Hyungwon agrees as he pulls off his shoes in the entryway.

Minhyuk huffs out an annoyed breath. “I think he just really likes _you_!”

The model blinks, taken aback. “But,” he turns to Minhyuk, wide-eyed and uncertain. “He doesn’t know me.”

“You’ve been bonded for all your life, haven’t you? I’m sure he knows more than you think.”

This remark causes Hyungwon to frown, shoulders hunching uncomfortably. “That’s not really fair… is it? I don’t know him at all.”

“But you know Hyunwoo,” Minhyuk reminds quietly. “Hoseok… Hoseok couldn’t know Hyunwoo if he had your name. And Hyunwoo probably doesn’t know you—,”

Something in Hyungwon’s chest seizes painfully. Despite himself, his voice trembles as he says, “You think… I’m not Hyunwoo’s soulmate?”

Minhyuk’s expression crumbles, eyes going wide. “Hey, don’t worry. I think… both of them are your soulmates. And you’re both of theirs. It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

If he was thinking rationally, he’d at least consider his friend’s words. But he’s stressed and tired of thinking about this, and knowing he isn’t even meant for his own soulmate kills whatever hope he had left. “Right, whatever, I get it. I get why he never wanted me. It’s fine.”

“No, Hyungwonnie, you’re thinking about it all wrong,” he says, closely following the model as he moves further into the apartment. “What about your reaction to Hoseok? I’m sure Hyunwoo’s just feeling the same way—,”

“But Hyunwoo _knew_ ,” Hyungwon counters. “He knew about this, and he felt _guilty_ , but he gave up on his soulmates. It’s why I pulled away. All this time, he’s just felt guilty about choosing someone else over waiting for Hoseok,” This remark hurts him more than he’d ever admit. Hyungwon had at least found some solace in the observation that Hyunwoo felt guilty over ditching him, but now he’s realizing those emotions weren’t even meant for him. Minhyuk bites his lip. His eyes are conflicted, but he doesn’t say anything in reply. Hyungwon nods. “That’s what I thought.” He enters the main room of their apartment, and is met with a sleepy Changkyun shuffling out of his own bedroom.

“You guys are fighting again?” the younger boy yawns.

Hyungwon rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Did you eat?” Changkyun looks a bit sheepish, edging around Hyungwon and towards the kitchen. The taller male sighs. “Will you ever remember to take care of yourself? This is why Minhyuk’s been trying so hard to get you outside.”

“ _Speaking of which_!” the redhead in question yells as he runs in to join his roommates. He approaches the youngest, smacking a piece of paper onto the counter in front of him. He smiles smugly. “I got you an audition.”

Changkyun frowns, nose scrunching in equal confusion and distaste. “You what?”

“An audition,” Minhyuk repeats, “With Kihyunnie’s rapper friend! He’s starting a band and needs another rapper. You’d be perfect!” Changkyun’s ears go pink, but Minhyuk preemptively shuts down any protests. “Just send a text to this number, and Jooheon will set you up with a time and a place.”

The younger blinks. “J-Jooheon?”

“Yeah, Lee Jooheon. He’s very talented, and writes all his own stuff! I think you’ll like him a lot, he’s really fun.” Minhyuk nods, and Changkyun goes very, very pale.

“Suddenly I’m not hungry at all,” the dark-haired boy mumbles as he moves away, but he takes the paper from Minhyuk nonetheless.

The older two roommates share a confused look, and Minhyuk shouts after the rapper, “Make sure to text him soon!” The only answer he receives is the sound of the boy’s bedroom door slamming. Minhyuk frowns. “Does he really have to be so dramatic?”

Hyungwon scoffs, “Don’t complain to me about dramatics when you’re ten times worse.”

The redhead purses his lips into a pout. “Everyone in this house is against me.”


	5. ホントはちょっと足を止めたくて

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorryyyyy this took so long :(  
> also thank you again to milosparks bc this chapter would not be posted without you, ily <3

By the time Hyunwoo gets home after practice, he’s exhausted. As much as he appreciates Rowoon’s persistence and tenacity, sometimes Hyunwoo just can’t keep up. He’s been tired lately, and going home to Hoseok hasn’t been helping. Honestly, he thinks maybe that’s where the cause of his exhaustion lies. There’s been tension between the two of them lately, and it’s put a strain on their relationship. Hyunwoo knows he isn’t blameless in this, but he wishes Hoseok would try to understand his side, if only a little. Hyunwoo feels quite justified in his reasoning for wanting to avoid Chae Hyungwon. Besides, isn’t it safer for the both of them if they don’t meet? Hoseok isn’t thinking clearly.

He can’t seem to accept that this isn’t normal, that it isn’t meant to be. For Hyunwoo, Chae Hyungwon is not meant to be—even if the blond vehemently says they’re all meant for each other. The songwriter can’t seem to fathom he has to _choose_.

Although Hoseok reassured him he wouldn’t leave, Hyunwoo can’t help but distrust that promise. Just because Hyunwoo is meant for Hoseok, it doesn’t mean the songwriter is meant for him in return. And that fact has only become clearer since Hoseok met his true soulmate. No matter how much the songwriter tries to tell him otherwise, Hyunwoo knows it’s only a matter of time before his boyfriend leaves him. Chae Hyungwon will take him away without even trying.

Hyunwoo has made peace with it. He only wishes he could have the opportunity to savor each happy moment he has left with Hoseok.

The choreographer settles on the small couch in his shared dorm, closing his eyes to rest for a bit. He should clean up the tiny kitchen while Hoseok is out. The blond is always happier to return to a tidy dorm. He hopes Hoseok has eaten; maybe he should order some delivery?

His eyelids flutter open when he hears someone enter the dorm, looks over to see Hoseok toeing off his shoes in the entrance. There’s a pleased smile on his face as he hums an upbeat song under his breath. His eyes brighten when his gaze meets his boyfriend’s. “Hey babe,” he singsongs, swinging a plastic shopping bag on his wrist. “I got you something!”

He seems to be in a better mood than he has been in the last week. Hyunwoo quietly stands and approaches as Hoseok walks over to the kitchen. The older male searches through the bag when the other sets it down on the table and slides it over to him. Hoseok loops his arms around his boyfriend’s neck from behind, presses soft kisses to the exposed skin of his neck. Hyunwoo hums, a bit perplexed. “Study group go well?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok nods. “I missed you, though. Wish you could have been there.” He nuzzles his face into the crook of Hyunwoo’s neck as best as he can with their height difference. “I’m sorry about the past few days. I’ll stop pressuring you about your soulmate. Will you let me make it up to you?”

“Depends on how you want to do that,” Hyunwoo answers, only partially teasing as he appraises the snacks the blond brought. He really doesn’t want anything more than an apology, but he would never say no if Hoseok wanted to take him out.

“ _Well_ ,” Hoseok starts, arms sliding from Hyunwoo’s shoulders to settle at his waist. “I was thinking we could go to a nice café for breakfast tomorrow? Or we could sleep in and go somewhere good for lunch. We can go see that movie you’ve been talking about, if you want.” He runs his hands up the taller male’s muscled torso, fingers brushing the exposed skin above the collar of Hyunwoo’s shirt. “My treat, of course.”

“Seems like you want to have some fun right now though,” Hyunwoo comments. He drops the shopping bag, knowing this situation likely won’t end with food. Hoseok breathes out a laugh, hands falling back to the other’s hips. Hyunwoo turns around, his own hands resting on the shorter male’s biceps. There’s a sly smile playing on Hoseok’s pale lips as he stares up at the darker-haired male. Hyunwoo raises a hand to hold the back of the blond’s head, leans down to connect their lips in a sweet kiss.

Hyunwoo isn’t sure if there’s anything in the world he loves more than Hoseok’s kisses. Each one brings a whirlwind of pleasant emotions rushes through Hyunwoo’s veins, leaves him reeling. Kissing Hoseok gives him such a heady, intoxicating feeling. He treasures every touch, every action they share. Grazing his fingertips against the younger male’s skin is enough to get his heart racing. Maybe it’s because he knows their time together is limited (especially now), but he can’t help but feel the need to savor every moment with Hoseok, memorize every smile and record every laugh. No matter how temporary, he wants to keep everything Hoseok shares with him forever.

(He’s so in utterly in love. He’s going to shatter when Hoseok finally leaves him.)

The action quickly grows heated as the younger pushes his boyfriend against the table, urging Hyunwoo’s lips to part. The taller male opens his mouth, startling when Hoseok immediately surges forward to take control. The older male gives it up and lets the blond take the lead. Hoseok obviously knows what he wants, and Hyunwoo is willing to let him take it.

Hoseok grins against Hyunwoo’s lips, hooks two fingers in the collar of Hyunwoo’s shirt, gently tugs him back towards the younger male’s bedroom. He closes the door behind them, and the older male pushes him up against it, diving in for another taste of those sweet lips. Hyunwoo kisses him languidly, humming in amusement as the blond makes a startled noise. Hoseok whines, but his protests quickly fade and taper out into soft moans. He tips his head back, asserts his dominance by deepening the kiss again. He reaches for the older male’s shirt, clumsily working on unbuttoning it and pushing it down his shoulders. Hyunwoo wraps his arms around the younger dancer’s waist, holds him as close as he can. Hoseok’s lips trail from his boyfriend’s lips to his jaw and down his neck. He settles at the other’s collarbone, kissing along his skin sweetly before leaving his marks along the junction of Hyunwoo’s neck and shoulder. Hyunwoo laughs, swats him away.

“ _Hyung_ ,” the songwriter whines, out of breath as he pulls back. He looks almost annoyed at the other’s interruption.

“You can’t make too many marks,” he reprimands lightly. Hoseok pouts, frowning deeper when Hyunwoo chuckles again. “You’re cute when you’re annoyed.”

Hoseok’s face sets into a determined expression, and he shoves the older dancer back against the bed. Hyunwoo lets himself fall back, hitting the mattress with a thud. He laughs again as Hoseok is quick to settle over him. “I’m in control tonight,” he asserts, his hands reaching for the older male’s belt.

Hyunwoo lifts an amused eyebrow, stretches out underneath him. “Lead the way, then.” And Hoseok takes the challenge as he slides down his boyfriend’s body.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Hoseok lives up to his promise. He doesn’t bring up Hyungwon anymore, only mentions Minhyuk and how Hyunwoo should consider meeting him soon. His boyfriend hardly responds to those remarks as well, but at least it doesn’t upset him like Hyungwon apparently does.

They go back to something closer to their original routine. They go back to spending most of their time together, and their dance practices no longer carry the same tension that had been plaguing them since Chae Hyungwon entered Hoseok’s life. The other members of their team are relieved the couple has gotten over the bump in their relationship. It’s not exactly the same, though, as Hoseok leaves time for “study group” meetings.

Hyunwoo knows Hoseok still meets with Minhyuk and Hyungwon. He doesn’t lie about his outings after the first time. Minhyuk sets up double dates (as he calls them) with the three of them and Kihyun quite often. Hyungwon doesn’t always show up, and when he does it’s rare for him to stay too long. Despite how well their first proper meeting went, Hyungwon still seems to hold reservations towards Hoseok. He doesn’t know how to break down this barrier—at least not on his own.

Hoseok doesn’t have the heart to tell Hyungwon about Hyunwoo. He can’t bring himself to say he even knows Hyunwoo, let alone that the two of them have been dating for years and live together now. He doesn’t know how the younger student would react to that, and he’s not sure he wants to. It’s irrational to think Hyungwon will never find out, because _of course he will_ , but for now it feels okay to keep that information from him. What harm will it do to keep quiet a little longer?

Kihyun and Jooheon both express their own opinions on Hoseok’s decision. Jooheon thinks he’s making the wrong choice, and isn’t afraid to be upfront with his friend about this. On the other hand, Hoseok has to pry for Kihyun’s opinion, and he can’t say he likes what the other tells him.

“You shouldn’t be talking to Hyungwon at all,” is what Kihyun says after Hoseok pushes him enough. He’s editing photos on his laptop as the two hang out in the younger male’s dorm, using that as an excuse to keep his gaze down and not look Hoseok in the eye. “You should just… leave him alone. You’re happy with Hyunwoo-hyung, why ruin that?”

“I’m not ruining anything,” Hoseok frowns, taken aback. “Why can’t I know them both? Obviously they’re both meant to be in my life.” He waves his wrist at the other, but Kihyun swats him away.

“You aren’t entitled to having them both,” he scowls. “Do you want to risk losing what you have for something that probably won’t work out?”

The blond frowns. “Why are you trying so hard to discourage me from this? Shouldn’t you be glad I’m getting along with your soulmate’s friends?”

The photographer winces. “You know what, I really don’t want to have this discussion. Do what you want.” And that’s where that conversation ends.

Kihyun gets a bit weird at the mention of Minhyuk. He acts like it’s a bad thing that Hoseok and Jooheon are getting friendly with the redhead and his roommates, and even supports Hyunwoo’s decision not to even meet them. Shouldn’t he be glad? Isn’t it a good thing that Kihyun’s friends are getting along with his soulmate? He should be jumping at the easy chance to connect his friends with Minhyuk’s.

But Hoseok doesn’t push Kihyun for his reasons for acting this way. He knows Kihyun doesn’t respond well to that kind of confrontation, and Hoseok doesn’t want the other to completely shut down on him. Even so, he still can’t help but wonder.

The concerns he has over Kihyun’s attitude quickly fade to the background, however. He has his own problems to take care of, and it isn’t going to help anyone if he wastes time on Kihyun’s inexplicable shyness.

Minhyuk has expressed some impatience with Hoseok related to Hyunwoo. He thinks it isn’t helping to drag out the older dancer’s introduction to the group. He constantly tells Hoseok that Hyungwon isn’t going to take him seriously without meeting Hyunwoo. It’s a turnaround from his original stance on the trio’s meeting, back when he’d first talked to Hoseok, and throws him for a bit of a loop. The blond tries to tell him it isn’t the right time, that Hyunwoo isn’t going to take it well. But Minhyuk grows oddly vehement, tells Hoseok he _needs_ to make it work, and _soon_. There’s a sense of threat to his tone when he says this, and Hoseok doesn’t want to know what the redhead will do if the dancer continues to resist.

It’s not like Hoseok can try to change Hyunwoo’s mind. He values his boyfriend too much to break his promise. But that also goes against his want to bring Hyungwon into their relationship. It’s honestly a complete mess when he tries to reason it out in his mind. It shouldn’t be difficult to bring them together. They should both want each other, should both want _him_. This tip-toeing and refusal is only delaying the inevitable. He firmly believes he doesn’t have to choose, that fate will pull through no matter what he does. He just has to wait for something to change.

He doesn’t know how to prompt this change, however, especially not when he’s trying to appease both sides. He considers this as he and Hyunwoo go over their choreography, when he tries to catch and hold Hyungwon’s attention during their group outings. It’s more than a little frustrating. It should have all fallen into place already, shouldn’t it have? Why is it so difficult? Why don’t his soulmates understand how perfect it will be when they all meet?

Hoseok wants to call them out on how selfish it is for them to hold back like this, hurting each other and himself, but he refrains. It isn’t going to help to get mad at them.

There’s one day in which Hyungwon asks Hoseok about Hyunwoo. It’s during another meet up with Minhyuk and Kihyun, at a café closer to Hoseok’s school as the three were taking Changkyun to meet with Jooheon. The pair of soulmates are in their own world, bickering with each other (Kihyun red-faced and indignant while Minhyuk laughs and coos teasingly). Hoseok had taken to laughing at their interactions, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get a word edgewise into the argument, when Hyungwon turns to him. His eyes are soft, considering as he looks at Hoseok. “Do you… Do you think Hyunwoo knows he has two soulmates?”

The mention of his boyfriend takes Hoseok off guard. Hyungwon has never asked about Hyunwoo, never mentioned him before. Hoseok isn’t sure he’s ever heard the younger male speak his soulmate’s name. His eyes dart down to Hyungwon’s hands on the table, sees the other nervously cover his wrist with his hand. Hoseok deflates a bit. He looks back up to Hyungwon’s unreadable face, tries to piece together a good response. “I think… he thinks he only has one soulmate.” Hyungwon looks dismayed at that, like he knew the answer he would get but hoped Hoseok would suggest the other male would turn out to be some omnipotent being always aware of having two soulmates. He sinks back, and the blond’s heart clenches. “Sorry,” he adds weakly.

Hyungwon blinks at him. “It’s not your fault.” He shrugs, turns his attention back to the tabletop in front of him. “Why are you apologizing?” he asks. “You didn’t do anything. And it’s useless for me to ask you anyway, when you don’t know Hyunwoo either.”

Hoseok tenses, offers a quiet, “Yeah, I guess,” but Hyungwon doesn’t seem to notice anything off. Instead, when he next looks at the older student, he has a shy look on his face.

“So,” he starts, slow and hesitant, and Hoseok pushes aside all his other thoughts in order to give the taller student his full attention. Hyungwon gives him the _Look_ then, the one that tells Hoseok not to get overexcited. The blond just gives him a cheeky smile in return.

“So?” he prompts, encouraging. He just ends up sounding overeager.

Hyungwon rolls his eyes. “ _So_ , you should go get me a caramel latte.” Hoseok deflates a little, having obviously lost whatever Hyungwon was going to open up and say. It isn’t the first time Hyungwon has started to say something on a spark of confidence, then shut down before he gets it out. Hoseok wishes he could still feel Hyungwon’s emotions; he thinks it would make it easier to coax him into feeling more secure with the songwriter.

He pauses as he realizes he still doesn’t know why their bond closed. His hesitance must appear on his face as Hyungwon draws back again. “You don’t actually have to get me one—,”

“No, no, it’s just,” Hoseok frowns, tries to think of the best way to broach the subject. He decides being blunt is for the best. “We used to have a soulmate link, where I felt your emotions, but I haven’t felt it in a long time. I just… wondered if you knew anything about that. If you… If you feel Hyunwoo’s emotions.”

Hyungwon swallows thickly, nervous again. The mention of Hyunwoo does that to him quickly. “I, uh, I… I don’t know how else to say this.” He bites his plush lower lip, leans in closer to Hoseok and lowers his voice, like he’s about to spill some big secret. “Hyunwoo fell in love.”

Hoseok blinks, pulls back to look the boy in the eye. “What?”

The younger male nods. “He fell in love with someone a few years ago. They’ve been together since. All of his emotions have something to do with that person. It… it upset me, so I cut the bond. Or at least, I thought I did.” He frowns, resting his chin on his hand. “But I kept getting his emotions, and really, it’s hard to accept your soulmate doesn’t want you before they ever meet you.” Hoseok feels a bit of his heart crack at that. He can’t imagine how that must feel, to have to feel your soulmate’s love for someone else. He can’t think of anything worse. But Hyungwon only shrugs, and the nonchalance of it worries the blond. “I thought he could still feel _my_ emotions, but I guess I’d cut myself off from you instead of him, sorry. But I guess it’s probably for the best, since I did kind of start dating—just to get back at him. It didn’t work out at all, and I kinda just… accepted it.”

The blond only nods slowly, ignoring the guilt gnawing at his stomach. He decides to redirect. “How do you know the emotions you feel are from Hyunwoo?”

Hyungwon shrugs again. “Your emotions when we first met didn’t match the ones I was feeling. You looked ecstatic; I felt miserable. I guess you could have been acting, but it didn’t really fit with your actions.”

“That… that makes sense,” Hoseok says feebly. If he thinks back on it, the emotions the blond felt didn’t match Hyunwoo’s, and he can’t exactly compare them to Hyungwon’s now since the other closed his end of the bond. And it would explain why Hyungwon never reciprocated the emotions when Hoseok would send them to him. Then, this whole time, has Hyunwoo been the one receiving Hoseok’s emotions? He thinks of all the times Hyunwoo had quickly reacted to Hoseok’s emotional shifts, how he would comfort him even before the songwriter had voiced discomfort or frustration. He’d never considered that Hyunwoo could feel them.

The younger male nods. “We probably feel the emotions from whoever’s name is on our wrist.” Hoseok’s eyes again dart over to the other’s hidden wrist. He suddenly feels a bit indignant. If Hyunwoo really could feel Hoseok’s emotions, he should know how genuine the songwriter is. He should know Hoseok isn’t doing any of this to hurt him. He should _understand_ how Hoseok _feels_ about this. It hurts enough for Hyunwoo to doubt him, but now it’s a bit insulting.

Hoseok reaches for his own coffee, suddenly needing something to busy his hands with. “Yeah, that makes sense,” he says again. Hyungwon looks at him with a brow lifted in question, obviously sensing the sudden tenseness to Hoseok’s voice. The blond gives him a smile, tries to wave it off, but he knows it’s tight around the edges. “Did you still want that second latte?”

“Sure,” Hyungwon says. “If you’re buying.”

The grin on Hoseok’s face relaxes into something more natural. “Anything for you,” he winks. Hyungwon shakes his head, turns away. The songwriter knows, if they were closer, if he was Minhyuk, the literature student would have hit him for it. But they aren’t close, not yet. Hoseok is working on it.

He doesn’t dwell on it as he gets up to order Hyungwon’s latte. The café isn’t busy, so instead of going back to the table, he waits by the counter for the drink. It gives him some time to himself to clear his thoughts. He looks back at Hyungwon, sees him frowning down at his phone before Minhyuk grabs his attention. The effect is instantaneous; Hyungwon immediately relaxes when Minhyuk engages him. It’s clear they share a close friendship. The redhead even manages to get Hyungwon to open up to Kihyun—not that they get along; as far as Hoseok has seen, the two argue more than the pair of soulmates themselves. But they have a dynamic, unlike Hyungwon and his own soulmate, and Hoseok would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous.

The barista calls for Hoseok’s order, and the blond starts to head back to the table. He leans over Hyungwon to place the latte on the table, starting to step around him. Hyungwon looks back at him, but his attention is quickly taken by something behind them both. His eyes go wide, annoyed expression smoothing out into surprise. Curious, Hoseok turns around, looking for what could have caught the younger male’s attention. He looks towards the front of the café, and his heart jumps to his throat when he sees who has just entered the restaurant.

“Hyunwoo,” he says under his breath when he meets eyes with his boyfriend, and Hyungwon goes tense beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect a change of pace next chapter... :)


	6. ウソと本音の間

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternate title from ezra: "WOW MINHYUK YOU DICK"  
> i changed my mind about the change of pace, i decided i couldn't leave you on that cliff hanger for any longer than necessary :')  
> showhyung is my Passion

Hyungwon can’t take his eyes off the young man entering the café. His stature is tall and broad, firmly muscled—a naturally strong physique that rivals Hoseok’s own carefully sculpted muscles. His hair is a natural black, closely-cropped on the sides but kept just a bit longer on top, the ends dyed a lighter brown and styled back out of his face. As the man gets closer, the model makes out full and pursed lips, a sharp jawline, and tanned skin. His eyes, a warm brown that darkens in confusion, stare questioningly at Kihyun and Hoseok.

There’s something familiar about this man that Hyungwon doesn’t want to consider.

The model suddenly feels dizzy, his chest aching. This feels weird, wrong, and only gets worse as the man steps closer. Hyungwon can’t look away, even though he wants nothing more than to _leave_.

Hoseok clears his throat awkwardly, turns fully to face the newcomer. “Hyunwoo,” he says, and Hyungwon feels very nauseous all at once. “What are you doing here?”

The man—who can’t be his soulmate, has to be a different Hyunwoo, because he clearly knows Hoseok and surely the other would have _told_ Hyungwon—frowns. “Kihyun texted me,” he explains. “Said he needed help with a project, but I guess that’s not what’s going on here…” He looks towards the photographer, eyebrows drawn together in confusion and—dare the model think— _hurt_. Hyungwon feels nausea settle in the pit of his stomach as the dark-haired man questions, “Kihyun, did you set us up?”

Kihyun shakes his head vehemently, flustered. “I didn’t send you a text message.”

Hyungwon’s eyes catch and track the movement of Minhyuk’s hand from his own jacket pocket to the table as he deposits a sleek cellphone in front of his soulmate. The literature student’s heart somersaults, splats unceremoniously against the floor and twitches there with disgusting betrayal. His blood runs cold. Kihyun startles, whirls around to give his soulmate a wide-eyed, incredulous look. The redhead smiles sheepishly. “Oops.”

The photographer splutters indignantly for a reply, obviously not happy with his soulmate’s intervention, but Minhyuk waves it off. “Oh, don’t be like that. You know they have to meet each other one way or another.” He turns to the newcomer, offers him a bright expression. “You’re Son Hyunwoo, right? I’m Lee Minhyuk, Kihyunnie’s soulmate.” His smile is falsely saccharine, and the act is making Hyungwon ill.

This is Son Hyunwoo. This is Hyungwon’s soulmate. This is the man who never wanted him. And Hoseok knows him—had known him before Hyungwon. Kihyun had known him, and _Minhyuk_ had known him. They’d all kept Hyunwoo from Hyungwon. And yet Hyunwoo doesn’t even look _surprised_. Did he know about Hyungwon? Did he choose to stay away from Hyungwon? _Why_? Was it to save Hyungwon from the pain of finding out Hyunwoo had never known of his existence until recently, hadn’t ever even given any _thought_ to Hyungwon, and still didn’t care about him? To save him from the knowledge that Hyungwon had _never_ mattered to Hyunwoo? Betrayal cuts through him like a ragged-edged knife. This might hurt worse.

Hoseok smiles too, but even Hyungwon can tell how frantic he is. “M-Minhyuk’s right. Hyunwoo, this is Chae Hyungwon, our soulmate.” He gestures to the terrified model, urging him to say something, but Hyungwon can’t do anything but helplessly stare because the man _won’t look at him_. He’ll address any of the other three, look them straight in the eye with that intense gaze, but he won’t so much as glance Hyungwon’s way. It hurts, squeezes Hyungwon’s lungs tight and makes it hard to breathe. Hyunwoo can’t even look at him. Hyungwon is that inconsequential to him. The model feels a bit like dying right now.

“Hoseok,” Hyunwoo says, warning in his tone. “I told you I didn’t want to do this.”

The blond swallows dryly, looks to Hyungwon beside him. “You’re already here,” he mumbles. “Don’t you think you owe it to Hyungwon to talk to him, at least?”

Hyunwoo glances to Hyungwon then, gives him this _look_. It isn’t friendly or welcoming or anything Hyunwoo feels with other people. From his bond, Hyungwon only feels dread and guilt and betrayal and hurt—it leaves Hyungwon feeling dizzy and short of breath. He wants to disappear so badly. His whole chest is like a gaping, vulnerable wound. He wants Hyunwoo to stop looking at him like he’s some kind of unwanted third-wheel. He hates Minhyuk for putting him here, hates Hoseok for not warning him. Hoseok should recognize Hyungwon’s pain and terror and pull him out of this situation. Maybe if they still had their bond, if it discomforted _Hoseok_ , he would help Hyungwon.

He isn’t sure Hyunwoo intends to say anything then, but either way, Minhyuk beats him to it. “Why don’t you three go outside to talk alone? It’s noisy in here, and it would be better to have this tall in private.” He looks pleased with the decision, eyes shining as he turns to Hyungwon. The model can’t bring himself to say no, even as Hoseok begins to pull him along. He doesn’t want to leave Minhyuk, the one person that actually cares about him in this group, but the redhead only watches him go with an excited smile.

He’s essentially sending Hyungwon off to have his heart slaughtered, and he’s _smiling_. Sometimes the model wished his friend wasn’t so impulsive—or maybe that he would consider the actual consequences of his poor decisions, because Hyungwon can guarantee this isn’t going to end how he wants it to.

Hyungwon is silent as he’s pulled out of the café and into the night air, over to a little, well-lit common area just across the street. There’s surprisingly few people around, and it makes Hyungwon even more nervous. Hoseok turns to his two supposed soulmates, smiling with misplaced elation at them both, eyes shining, but even Hyungwon can see the apprehension there. The blond leads his two soulmates over to a long bench, gestures at them as if telling them to sit. They don’t. Hoseok shuffles his feet awkwardly, smile faltering. “Ah… I guess—should I—?”

Hyunwoo reaches for the dancer, grabs one of his hands. “Please don’t continue,” he says. He looks to Hyungwon, who blinks back with wide, owlish and uncertain eyes. “Look, this isn’t—,”

Hoseok squeezes the taller male’s hand, gives him something close to a reprimand. “You’re going to give this a fair shot. I know you’ve already closed yourself off from this idea, but you owe it to Hyungwon to at least hear him out.”

The dark-haired male looks like he’s going to protest again, but Hyungwon finally finds his voice. “No, no that’s not what I want,” he says, voice rasping a bit from disuse. He clears his throat, needing his voice to be strong and firm. Son Hyunwoo had once been a source of happiness for Hyungwon, but he hasn’t felt that relief in years. Hyunwoo only hurts him now, and even face-to-face he refuses to acknowledge Hyungwon’s existence as a real person. “I agree—this isn’t going to work. I can’t talk to someone that looks at me like a _pest_ before he even utters one word to me.” Their bond oozes with defensive emotions—but there’s also _agreement_ there. Hyungwon is on his last emotional straw.

Unfortunately, the blond isn’t so keen on letting go so easily. “We’re meant for each other,” he states decisively. “This is _fate_.”

“The three of us cannot happen,” Hyunwoo denies, so firm that Hyungwon startles. “You can’t have everything you want, Hoseok. There is no such thing as soulmate trios, or whatever you think this is.” He’s upset now; judging by Hoseok’s mute surprise, Hyungwon guesses this isn’t a typical reaction from him.

“You can’t pin this all on me,” Hoseok denies. “Maybe you’ve made your decision, but it’s not just me and you that get a say. Hyungwon—,”

“I told you, _I don’t want anything to do with him_.” Hyunwoo snaps, even taking himself off guard that time. But when he looks at Hyungwon, he isn’t apologetic nor guilty about it. “I-I just… Hoseok is the only one for me. I can’t accept you. I’m sorry.”

The words are a punch to the gut. Hyungwon is left _stunned_. He knew Hyunwoo would feel this way, would feel Hyungwon was only in his way, but he never imagined he would actually hear the words with his own ears. The model feels something in his chest lock up, shut down. The dizziness from before returns tenfold. Physically, he stumbles back a step, the proximity to his soulmate suddenly suffocating. He doesn’t want to be here anymore.

He registers Hoseok reaching for him, but Hyungwon’s ears are ringing and he doesn’t want to listen anyway. He steps out of the other’s reach, tries to make his expression blank as he attempts some sort of composure. “I have to go.”

Hoseok looks pained. “Please, I know we can work this out—,”

“I have to _go_ ,” Hyungwon repeats more firmly. “Please tell Minhyuk I’ll see him at home.” He doesn’t stay any longer after that, not wanting to see Hoseok’s pleading face, nor Hyunwoo’s cold and rejecting eyes. He turns on his heel leaves as quickly as his trembling legs can manage.

Hyungwon doesn’t make it far. He retraces his steps down a few streets leading back to the train station until he finds an empty, dimly-lit bus shelter and curls up on the bench. The literature student doesn’t know how long he stays there, cold and alone and trying to temper down the awful pain in his chest. However long it is, it’s enough for Minhyuk to catch up to him. The redhead takes Hyungwon into his arms, loosely holds him in his arms. “I’m sorry, Hyungwonnie.”

Hyungwon chokes back a whimper, buries his face against the other’s shoulder. “I told you. I told you he didn’t want me.”

“I thought he’d be reasonable after meeting you,” Minhyuk muses. He rubs his hand up and down the younger boy’s back soothingly. “I’m sorry. If I knew he was going to be like that, I wouldn’t have texted him.”

“I told you he wouldn’t be ‘reasonable’,” Hyungwon mutters. “He doesn’t care about me.”

Minhyuk doesn’t say anything to that, probably because he can’t argue now. Hyunwoo had finally proven it himself. Instead, after a moment of quiet, he softly asks, “What about Hoseok?”

The model scoffs lowly, “What about him? I don’t want to see him again.”

“You two were getting along so well,” the redhead murmurs, a bit dismayed, and Hyungwon fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Try a little harder not to sound like a mom who’s upset her kid doesn’t wanna play with the kids of the other mom she’s trying to impress,” Hyungwon replies dryly. “I’m sorry your soulmate has such shitty friends.”

“Hoseok tried—,”

“He _lied_ to me to gain my trust,” the younger student corrects. “He’s no better than everyone else who tries to use me.” He feels so miserable. His soulmate shouldn’t be so untrustworthy; his soulmate should be the one person Hyungwon can trust implicitly. But Hoseok lied just to get close to him; the blond tricked him for his own gain. Hyungwon isn’t sure he’s ever felt so beaten down and defeated. He can’t seem to ever catch a break.

“He wanted you to be comfortable with him before making things complicated,” Minhyuk tries, but Hyungwon knows it’s bullshit.

“It was already complicated,” he points out. “All he had to say was that he’s dating Hyunwoo at any point during our conversations. But he _didn’t_. He talked about Hyunwoo like he’d never met him, making me think _maybe_ , if Hyunwoo didn’t want soulmates, at least we would still have each other. But Hyunwoo does want soulmates—he just only wants Hoseok. And that leaves me with no one.”

Minhyuk presses in even closer, pressing his lips to the side of the younger boy’s head. “You have me,” he murmurs soothingly. “You’ll always have me.”

Hyungwon feels his heart clench painfully, and he doesn’t bother to blink back his tears this time. “I wish you were my soulmate. I wish Kihyun and Hoseok and Hyunwoo never had to exist.” It’s a damning sentiment, one he doesn’t expect Minhyuk to return.

And for a little while, he doesn’t. He simply pets Hyungwon’s breeze-tousled hair in silence as the literature student tempers his upset emotions again. But then Minhyuk’s arms suddenly tighten around him and he presses his nose into Hyungwon’s hair. “Sometimes I wish it too,” and that’s enough to bring down Hyungwon’s tired emotional walls. He curls in tight against his best friend and holds him close. The pain in his chest doesn’t lessen at all. If anything, the ache only continues to grow. Hyungwon hates soulmates so much.

“Let’s go home,” Minhyuk murmurs. “I asked Kihyun to pick up Changkyunnie for us. We can go on ahead.” Hyungwon nods, slowly pulls away from Minhyuk and straightens up. Minhyuk smiles at him, intertwines their fingers, and Hyungwon thinks maybe it’ll be okay.

All he has to do is forget about soulmates.

（＾＿＾）☆ ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Hoseok’s chest feels tight as he watches his soulmate’s face fall at Hyunwoo’s cold words. Hyungwon had tried to seem uninterested in soulmates, but Hoseok could tell Hyunwoo meant a lot to Hyungwon despite how he’d apparently been hurt by them. A part of Hoseok’s heart breaks as the younger male walks away in clear upset. He moves to follow Hyungwon, to comfort and reassure him, but Hyunwoo holds him back. The blond feels anger bubble in his chest as he turns to face his boyfriend, lashing out, “What are you doing? How could you say that to him?

“Because that’s exactly how I feel,” Hyunwoo returns. “I’m not going to lie to him and give him some kind of false hope. I can’t be with him.”

“I can’t believe you,” Hoseok snaps. “You can’t even try? You can’t even get to know him first?” Hyunwoo doesn’t say anything, just gives Hoseok an unreadable stare. The blond can’t believe his boyfriend’s lack of empathy. He turns back around, intending once again to go after Hyungwon, but Hyunwoo pulls him back.

“Let him go,” the older male tells him, a certain firmness to his tone that surprises Hoseok. The blond turns to him, lungs tight. He doesn’t want to deny Hyunwoo, but he can’t give up on this, on Hyungwon.

“I can’t,” he says, “I won’t.”

Hyunwoo looks as if he expected that answer, releases Hoseok’s arm from his grip. “Okay,” he says, shrugs, steps back. There’s a resigned edge to his expression now, and suddenly his whole disposition changes, defeated. “Then maybe we should rethink our relationship.”

The words cause ice to spread through Hoseok’s veins and the air to leave his lungs. “W-what do you mean?” he hardly manages to choke out, hoping Hyunwoo isn’t saying what the blond thinks he is.

“I love you so much, Hoseok, you know I do,” Hyunwoo starts, and Hoseok feels panic crawling up his throat. “I love you so much that I can’t watch you pursue someone else. If you can’t respect that I don’t want to be with Chae Hyungwon, then you’ve made your choice.”

Hoseok’s heart plummets as Hyunwoo turns around, starts walking away in the opposite direction Hyungwon left. He feels cold and helpless as he stands rooted to the ground as his boyfriend leaves him. Momentarily, Hoseok can’t breathe. His chest is so tight and constricted; he feels like he might die. He can’t believe this just happened. What is he supposed to do now? He feels dizzy, lightheaded, and he finally sucks in a sharp, stuttering breath. He can only go back to where Kihyun and Minhyuk are waiting.

The cafe is just as bright and lively as it had been when he’d left it, but everything seems dulled, colorless. Hoseok numbly walks towards the back of the cafe where his friends are waiting. Kihyun notices him first, lifts an eyebrow in silent question when he notices the blond is alone. He doesn’t seem surprised. Minhyuk looks dismayed, nervous. He gets up from the table before Hoseok can sit down.

“Where’s Hyungwon?” he asks, “What happened?”

Hoseok can’t even look at the redhead. “He wanted me to tell you not to worry about him and to wait for your other roommate. He started heading back on his own.” He chances a glance up, winces at the other’s worried expression.

Minhyuk turns his back to Hoseok. “Kihyun-ah… Will you please pick up Changkyun and take him home? I-I have to look for Hyungwon.”

“Of course,” Kihyun nods. Almost like an afterthought, he tentatively adds, “Be careful.” Minhyuk smiles weakly; Hoseok would almost venture to call it sad. Quickly, with no other word, Minhyuk leaves the cafe. In his wake, Hoseok all-but collapses into the chair across the table from his friend. Kihyun gives him a rather unimpressed look. “I warned you.”

“I don’t understand,” Hoseok admits quietly. “Hyunwoo pushed Hyungwon away without even listening to him say a word.”

Kihyun gives him a flat look. “To Hyunwoo, Hyungwon has only ever been his enemy. You can’t think it could have worked out.” Hoseok whimpers, buries his face in his hands. It’s miserable. The photographer is hardly sympathetic. “It’s better this way. We don’t need him around anyway.”

“How can you say that?” Hoseok cries loudly, drawing the attention of several other patrons. But the blond doesn’t care. He’s too focused on how cruel his friend is being. He does lower his voice as he demands, “What did he do to make you hate him so much?”

The younger male tenses. “Nothing, he’s just… he only causes trouble.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes, feeling burning tears building. “He’s done nothing wrong. He’s my soulmate, and he’s Hyunwoo’s too. You should be nicer to your _own_ soulmate’s best friend.”

“And you should have listened when I told you to mind your own business,” Kihyun snaps. He clenches his jaw, then slowly relaxes to gain his composure back. “Go find Hyunwoo. You should apologize to him.”

Pain lances through Hoseok’s chest at the mention of his longtime boyfriend. He swallows thickly, eyes flitting uselessly to the tabletop in front of him. “I think… Hyunwoo doesn’t want to see me. Might not want to for a while,” he laughs humorlessly, but it sounds more like a sob. “He kind of broke up with me.”

“Oh,” the photographer responds intelligently, and this time Hoseok does sob, complete with a tear rolling down his cheek. He scrubs it away with his sleeve.

“Yeah,” Hoseok nods, hunching into himself. He can’t accept that everything had fallen apart so easily. Everything he’d built with Hyunwoo can’t have crumbled in just a moment. Right—Hyunwoo was just upset. When Hoseok goes home, Hyunwoo will be there and he’ll apologize for acting rash and everything will go back to how it was.

That thought brings balance back to Hoseok’s world. He slowly gets up from the table, meeting Kihyun’s concerned gaze. “I’m gonna go back home,” he announces. “Will you be okay by yourself?”

The younger male scoffs lightly. “Yeah, of course. I have to go pick up Minhyuk’s brat anyway. I’m more worried about you. Are you sure you don’t want to wait with me? I can drop you off after getting Changkyun. Or you could even come back home with me.”

Hoseok shakes his head. “I wanna get back as soon as possible. It’s okay. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He offers a smile brighter than he feels, and leaves the café. All he can think about is getting home, seeing Hyunwoo. He didn’t mean it. Hyunwoo could never do that to his boyfriend. No, Hyunwoo will be waiting for Hoseok and take back everything he’d said and Hoseok will fall asleep in his arms tonight. Everything will be fine.

Hoseok fumbles with the lock on the door to their suite when he arrives there soon after leaving. He’d managed to remain calm on his way back, but now that he’s finally here, his hands are trembling. He gets the door open, and he’s greeted with a darkened dorm room. His heart sinks, but he keeps his cool as best as he can as he flicks on the lights, hoping maybe Hyunwoo was at least in the dorm. He isn’t, but Hoseok tries not to let that get to him either. He’ll be back sooner or later. Hoseok sits on the couch and waits for his boyfriend’s return. But the longer he sits there in the ringing, unbroken silence, the closer he comes to panicking. Minutes turn to hours, and Hoseok finally breaks down when the clock hits midnight and he realizes Hyunwoo isn’t coming home tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, expect something different next chapter lol


	7. track 01 - ゴーストルール

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ezra: can you imagine if, in either of our stories, we built something up, like a huge fight, and some people were gonna die or whatever, and then, right when things are getting most tense, we throw in fifteen fucking chapters of goofing off  
> me: but wait isn’t that what i'm doing with that soulmate au  
> ayyy

Changkyun should definitively _not_ have agreed to this audition. It had seemed exciting for a moment, a good opportunity, but then his mind kept reminding him of the real reason he took this audition seriously and his brain shuts down. He’s auditioning for Lee Jooheon’s band. Which means he’s going to be _meeting_ Lee Jooheon—who just so happens to be Changkyun’s celebrity crush. 

Of course, Lee Jooheon isn’t quite a celebrity, but he feels about as out-of-reach as one. Jooheon runs the Calm Down Hour on his university’s local student radio station. The show is meant to be a study break for students, where they can listen to Jooheon chat with them about things going on at their local campus, from upcoming events to what food was served at the cafeteria that day. Changkyun had been introduced to it through a high school friend from the same university when he’d gone over to visit. His friend had turned on Jooheon’s show, and Changkyun had near-instantly fallen for the host’s charming and genuine personality as he’d recapped the interesting happenings from the day. Tentatively, Changkyun had pressed his friend for more information on the show, and that’s how he’d found the archive recordings of Jooheon’s Calm Down Hour on the university’s website. 

From then, Changkyun had been hooked. He’d listened to all the past recordings, kept up to date with the new ones. He tried his best to listen live, but it wasn’t always possible. Changkyun always thought it was best to listen to live shows, however; it made him feel weirdly good to know he was hearing Jooheon’s words as he was currently speaking them. It’s painfully obvious he has a crush on this faceless radio host, but no one knows about his little infatuation with Jooheon’s show so he doesn’t worry about anyone finding out that he’s kind of in love with the other boy. 

Jooheon’s rap career was not new to Changkyun. After he’d brought it up on the show, Changkyun had followed his Twitter account and found links to his SoundCloud. The younger student had been blown away by how powerful Jooheon sounded when he rapped. It was a complete turn around from the sweet and charming boy present on the Calm Down Hour. As part of his rap career, Jooheon had mentioned once or twice on the Calm Down Hour that he was starting a band. Changkyun had no idea how he didn’t have people circling the campus, lining up to audition for him. According to the number of Twitter followers he’s gained and the audience engagement during his live shows, Jooheon has quite a following. Maybe Minhyuk had just convinced Jooheon to give his friend a special audition. The idea makes his palms sweat with nervousness. 

Changkyun is absolutely going to panic. 

“I changed my mind,” he blurts out suddenly as he’s walking up to Jooheon’s university with Hyungwon, Minhyuk, and Kihyun. He grabs Hyungwon’s wrist, pulls him to a halt. The model gives him an unimpressed look. 

“We’re already here,” he points out dully, tugs Changkyun forward. “If you didn’t want to do the audition, you should have said so well before you wasted our time dragging you here, and Jooheon’s time waiting for you.” Guilt floods Changkyun’s system at that. Hyungwon is right, he _had_ wasted Jooheon’s time—and now he’s going to waste even _more_ of his time with his audition that is inevitably going to crash and burn, hopefully incinerating the young student on the spot. Changkyun can only pray that’s what fate has in store for him, because he’s not sure he can live with himself if he humiliates himself in front of _Lee Jooheon_ . 

“I can’t do this,” he insists, trying to urge Hyungwon back. He wants to go home, avoid embarrassing himself. 

“Calm down, Changkyunnie,” Minhyuk tells him. “You _can_ do this, you _will_ do this, and you’ll do _great_.” He flashes one of his trademark, brilliant smiles. 

“Jooheon isn’t hard to impress,” Kihyun adds dully. “He mostly just wants to meet you.” 

The younger boy isn’t sure if that makes him feel better or worse. However, he stops fighting Hyungwon’s hold on him and lets himself be dragged across the university’s campus. They end up outside the broadcasting building, greeted by a shorter male with icy blond hair and happy grin. “Hey!” he calls out to them, and Kihyun offers a nod of greeting. “Jooheon’s wrapping up some stuff, so he asked me to come meet you guys.” 

The photographer turns to the rest of the group. “This is Jackson. He’s Jooheon’s friend, and he’ll be your bandmate if you get the audition, Changkyun.” There’s some amusement in his tone then, maybe a bit mocking, and Changkyun side-eyes them both warily. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” he mumbles politely. 

Hyungwon lets go of his hand as Minhyuk claps his shoulder. “Alright Changkyunnie,” the redhead smiles. “Good luck! We’ll see you when it’s over.” Hyungwon waves, offering his own quiet ‘good luck’ before Changkyun’s two roommates and Kihyun start walking back. 

The younger student turns to face the blond in front of him. Jackson waves him forward. “C’mon, Jooheon’s been looking forward to meeting you.” Changkyun nods, takes a few steps forward, stops short. Oh god. He’s _actually_ going to meet Lee Jooheon. 

“I’m so nervous,” he blurts out, his face immediately flaring with embarrassment. 

But Jackson only grins good-naturedly. “Is this your first audition?” 

“Uh, well, I’m not really a rapper,” he admits. “Like okay, I write raps and I like to rap, but I’ve never… performed for any serious gigs.” 

Jackson shrugs. “Most of us haven’t. The most our lead singer has done is perform at school events back in high school, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t talented.” 

That’s when Changkyun realizes something he hadn’t quite thought about. “How many other people are in the band?” he asks, still tentative as he shakes his dark bangs into his eyes. He feels an intense urge to hide himself as much as possible. Maybe he can make himself completely invisible before he gets to Jooheon. 

“There’s four of us,” the blond answers easily. “Jooheon is the leader, obviously, and he raps and plays keyboard. We also have two singers, and they play guitar and bass. I just play the drums.” 

“I only rap,” Changkyun says in a bit of a panic. He’s not even _good_ at rap. He has nothing to show off to Jooheon. _God_ , he’s going to look so lame. Why did Minhyuk do this to him? The redhead makes Changkyun’s life miserable without even realizing. 

Jackson shoves at the dark-haired boy’s shoulder. “We’ll balance each other out,” he grins encouragingly, and pushes Changkyun inside the building holding the younger’s imminent demise. 

The blond drummer leads the boy into a narrow room with a large control panel against a wall of windows. Beyond the windows is a large recording booth, outfitted with a drum set and smaller musical instruments hanging on their stands. Seated at the control panel and editing footage from what appears to be an interview is a brunet student, and Changkyun feels nauseous with nerves. The male turns around, and the dark-haired boy’s heartbeat stutters for a moment. He’s got a sweet, welcoming face, and an easy-going expression that is both endearing and trustworthy. Changkyun wants to squish his round cheeks. 

The boy gets up from the panel, offering the darker-haired student his full attention. “Hey, you must be Changkyun. I’m Jooheon, it’s good to meet you.” The younger boy must have died and gone to heaven, because this angel can’t exist in front of him right now. Jooheon smiles at him and, _oh_ , those dimples. Changkyun is ascending. He’s so unbelievably _cute_. 

“Yeah, I’m Changkyun—you’re Kihyun’s friend?” Damn, how could that grouch be friends with someone so perfect? Changkyun has barely talked to Kihyun, but he’s never seen the other be anything but irritated. Jooheon is excitable and optimistic; it doesn’t seem like he’d get along with the Kihyun that Changkyun knows. 

But Jooheon nods, confirming the incomprehensible truth. “And you’re Minhyuk’s friend,” he amends in a teasing sort of way. “He’s a nice guy, been really good for Kihyun-hyung.” 

Changkyun’s sure he makes a strange face at that, but he doesn’t say anything about it. “Minhyuk’s always happy whenever he talks about Kihyun,” he offers, feeling awkward. The topic of Minhyuk and Kihyun is always strange. 

The brunet must recognize this as he changes the subject. “So, why don’t we get this audition started?” 

“Okay,” the younger boy agrees meekly. 

Jooheon smiles again, probably sensing the other’s nervousness. “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it chill. We all really liked the sample tracks you sent us. You’ve got a lot of potential.” The dark-haired boy feels his face heat up at the praise and he mumbles a shy ‘thank you’. 

He startles when Jackson smacks his shoulder encouragingly; he honestly forgot the blond was even in the room. “Do you have a track to rap to?” 

Changkyun starts to nod, recalling the song he’d prepared, but Jooheon interrupts. “Actually, I was hoping to hear you perform one of the songs you sent us—Who Am I?” 

“Oh,” Somehow, Changkyun flushes even further with embarrassment. He didn’t want to send that song; it was something personal he’d written and performed with one of his closest friends at the time. But it’s objectively one of his best tracks, so he couldn’t reason with not sending it. He never planned on performing it, however. But if it’s what Jooheon wants, how can he say no? 

They let him play the track and rap over it, and he feels a little less nervous as he pulls up the song. He gets a feel for the beat again, keeps his gaze down as he begins to rap the lyrics from heart. This is one of the few songs that he has some experience in performing. He and his friend had performed it once for their school’s talent show. As he rapped for Jooheon and Jackson, he found himself replicating some of the gestures he’d practiced before. It’s surprisingly comfortable once he gets into it. Even if he comes off a bit shy and inexperienced, his rap sounds good and his voice is strong throughout. He ends it feeling like he did a good job. 

Jooheon and Jackson are both grinning when he finishes, even teasingly applauding him (which causes embarrassed heat to rise to Changkyun’s face). He thinks they must have liked it. Jooheon walks over and bumps his shoulder with his fist. “That was good!” he praises and Changkyun preens only a little bit. “Your performance was rough, but your tone is good and you kept your voice steady. I like your lyrics and flow. I think you’d fit in well.” 

Jackson nods in agreement. “We can work on his gestures and stuff. We aren’t performing live any time soon.” 

Changkyun blinks, a bit taken aback. Is that it? Is that all he needed to get into the band? They must catch his bemused expression as Jooheon huffs out a short laugh. “We have a few other auditions to consider, but we’ll get back to you soon.” 

“And I really can’t stick around,” Jackson agrees. “I gotta meet with Mark soon.” He grins at Changkyun, giving him another pat on the shoulder. “It was nice meeting you! Hopefully we’ll see each other again soon! See you tomorrow, Jooheon-ah!” He waves over his shoulder and leaves the building—leaving Changkyun alone with Jooheon. 

The rapper quirks a brow at the younger boy. “Kihyun and Minhyuk dropped you off, right?” 

Changkyun nods. “Yeah, I have to go meet up with them after I’m done here.” His eyes flit from Jooheon to the floor and back again. “Um… Do you want to go with me?” 

Jooheon smiles again, flashing those cute dimples, and Changkyun hates how his heart skips a beat. “That sounds good, just let me shut everything down in here. Just wait outside, okay?” The younger student swallows dryly, nods, and steps out of the room. Did he really just ask Lee Jooheon to walk with him to the café? And did Lee Jooheon really say _yes_? 

His heart flutters dangerously. Changkyun seriously might die. 

It doesn’t take too long for Jooheon to join him again, and he’s smiling as he walks up and bumps shoulders with him. “Come on, let’s go.” 

Changkyun nods, quietly leads him outside. It’s cooler out now than it was earlier, enough that the younger student burrows down into his hoodie. Jooheon looks comfortable in his puffy windbreaker, leading the way down campus pathways and out onto the street. Changkyun quietly follows after, hands stuffed securely in the pocket of his hoodie. He should say something, start a conversation and make friends, but he has no idea what to say. He genuinely draws a blank as he stares at the back of Jooheon’s head. 

The older boy turns to smile at Changkyun, waits a beat to let him catch up. Changkyun feels his heart skip, but he tries to keep the emotion off his face. He can’t help the heat rising to his ears. Jooheon throws a grin down at him. “So how long have you known Minhyuk and Hyungwon?” 

“Uh, I needed a place to stay, and a mutual friend brought it up to Minhyuk-hyung. He managed to talk Hyungwon-hyung into letting me stay with them.” Changkyun shrugs. 

Jooheon looks thoughtful. “Hyungwon’s kinda reserved, huh?” 

“He’s a really good guy,” the darker-haired boy tries to correct. “He’s just… He has a hard time trusting people. And he’s trying to be supportive of Minhyuk-hyung while dealing with Hoseok—,” he cuts himself off quickly. “It’s just been a lot of stress for him. He’s not good at dealing with change like this. Especially when it comes to soulmates.” 

“How come?” 

“I don’t know,” he offers honestly. “He’s always been weird about soulmates. Minhyuk-hyung said it had something to do with his own soulmate, and some guy he dated. I don’t know the story.” 

The rapper nods, then offers a quiet grin. “And what about you? How do you feel about soulmates?” 

Nervousness flutters up in the younger boy’s chest. He’s more like Hyungwon in the sense that he would rather not talk about soulmates, but for a completely different reason. “I don’t really care,” he shrugs, haphazardly flashing his wrists in an attempt to hide his sudden shame. “I’m blank,” he mumbles in explanation, feeling awful sharing this with the other boy. Jooheon is probably bound to someone cute and beautiful, someone who will shower him with all the love in the world and more. Changkyun doesn’t have those same chances—not for himself, and not with Jooheon. 

But unexpectedly, Jooheon’s smile turns sadly empathetic. He lifts his wrist as well. “Rejected,” he says on a humorless laugh. 

Changkyun’s blood runs cold. “Oh.” There’s a name there, faded and grey and barely legible in the dim lighting, but it’s still there. Changkyun’s heart aches for him. He blurts out, “You still have feelings for them?” The older draws back, and the other’s eyes go wide as he realizes what he said. _Shit_ , that was horribly insensitive. Of course Jooheon wouldn’t want to talk about it or share it, especially not with someone he just met. Soulmate marks, especially marks of rejection like Jooheon’s (faded and nearly gone, but still with the lingering sadness of a lost love), are extremely personal. 

But Jooheon smiles once he recovers, shrugs. “I’d only known him for a little while, but he really was my other half. I guess I just haven’t found someone to replace him.” And Changkyun winces uncomfortably at that, because who can replace a soulmate, especially someone meant for someone so bright and strong? 

(Certainly not himself.) 

“You’ll find someone better,” he finds himself mumbling, and cringes internally. God, he’s so embarrassing. 

The older boy grins, laughs, bumps their shoulders together. “You’re cute, Changkyun.” And Changkyun can’t stop the wave of heat rushing up to his face. 

“Don’t call me cute,” he mumbles, shies away slightly. He feels like he should be the one being too familiar, as he clearly knew much more about Jooheon than the other knew about him. But Jooheon is unafraid of the comfortable contact and conversation, whereas Changkyun is taken aback by it. 

He doesn’t mind it, though. 

The mood between them lightens after that. Jooheon asks about his rap career, and Changkyun tells him about his lack thereof. He wishes he had more to offer, something impressive to add to the conversation. But Jooheon doesn’t seem bored with him, nor disappointed. If anything, he’s genuinely interested in Changkyun’s inspirations and experiences. He seems like he honestly cares, and Changkyun feels all kinds of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. 

“What about you?” he asks after he’s had enough of talking about himself. He’s so embarrassed trying to tell someone he looks up to about his inspirations and dreams. He’d rather hear about Jooheon. 

The brunet grins, looking amused. But he indulges Changkyun. “I’ve been writing music for a long time. I started trying to record stuff back in high school. I only started getting serious when I got to university. I started hosting a radio station here too, and that helped me get some attention. My friends really pushed me to get back into my music—especially Jackson and Hoseok. I thought this band would be a fun way to do it.” He shrugs, swinging his arms freely. “I’m a music production major already. I wanna have fun with music too.” 

“Your music reflects that,” Changkyun says, then freezes. _Oh no_. 

Jooheon lifts an eyebrow at him, still smiling. “You’ve heard my stuff?” 

The younger boy blinks, tries his best to hold onto some composure. “O-of course. I wanted to know what I was getting into before I auditioned.” He picks up his walking pace a bit, can’t look at Jooheon. He doesn’t want him to see the color rising to Changkyun’s ears. How embarrassing. The last thing Changkyun wanted to tell Jooheon was that he’d been listening to his music, his show. Changkyun is lame enough by going to this audition; Jooheon doesn’t need to think of him as some starry-eyed fanboy. 

“Yeah?” Jooheon easily catches up, his arm slinging around Changkyun’s stiff shoulders. “Is it good? You a fan?” 

Changkyun swallows hard, keeps his gaze forward. “I liked it well enough to be here,” he mutters, thankful he can keep his head up, and Jooheon squeezes his shoulder with a good-natured laugh. It’s embarrassing, but Changkyun appreciates that he leaves it at that. He lets his arm slip from the younger male’s shoulders, and Changkyun finds he misses the warmth of his body as he shivers in the slight chill. 

Jooheon moves the conversation from their rapping to their other hobbies. Changkyun talks about how he recently picked up playing a popular online first-person shooter video game with Minhyuk, and how sometimes he’ll go out and play billiards with both of his roommates on the off chance that they all have time. “It’s Hyungwon-hyung’s new favorite thing,” he says. “He used to be into dancing, but his agency made him give that up. I guess it got in the way.” 

“I guess he really is Hyunwoo and Hoseok-hyungs’ soulmate,” Jooheon jokes lightly. Changkyun shrugs noncommittally at that, and the brunet moves on to talk more about his radio show. “It’s meant to be like a study break for the other students, but it’s relaxing for me too.” The younger student bobs his head in understanding, pretends he knows nothing about it. Jooheon gets animated when he talks about it; it’s clear he has a lot of pride in his show. “I’m really glad I let Jiho talk me into doing it. He runs the student radio, and I guess Hyunwoo talked me up to him and he gave me a shot. It’s been so much fun.” 

He looks so bright and happy as he talks about his show. Changkyun wants to get caught up in that radiance. “Maybe I’ll have to catch a show sometime,” he manages to croak out, trying to cover the sheer awe he knows is in his eyes. 

Jooheon blushes faintly, looking embarrassed for the first time. “Honestly, it’s nothing much. It’s just a good way to unwind, and hopefully help other people do the same.” 

“I’m sure you help lots of students,” Changkyun says, bites back a cringing laugh at his own words. He really needs to get back with Minhyuk and Hyungwon before Jooheon realizes what a true fool he is. Thankfully, Jooheon’s friendly smile doesn’t falter. 

They arrive at the café soon, and the dark-haired student is both relieved to be back with his roommates and disappointed to leave Jooheon. However, he’s confused to find neither of his roommates are in sight—only Kihyun is there, sitting in the back of the café at a large table by himself. It’s quite an ominous image, if he’s honest. He’s almost afraid to go up and ask the other where everyone else is. 

He doesn’t get the opportunity to walk away, however, as Jooheon pushes his way past tables to get to his friend, and Changkyun helplessly follows. “Hyung,” the rapper calls, gaining the attention of the photographer. He looks relieved to see the two younger males. 

“Finally, something went according to plan tonight,” he mutters, stands up from the table. “Come on, Changkyun, Minhyuk and Hyungwon already went home.” 

“They left?” the younger echoes in disbelief. It’s honestly a bit shocking. Despite appearances, both of his roommates are quite dependable—at least enough that he’s never worried about being entirely left behind. 

Kihyun grimaces. “Minhyuk did something… stupid, and he had to take care of Hyungwon afterwards. So I have to take you home.” That sounds extremely suspicious. Hyungwon doesn’t upset easy—and Minhyuk would never knowingly hurt him. This situation is becoming legitimately concerning now. 

“What happened?” he asks, but he doesn’t get an answer right away as the older male turns his attention to Jooheon. 

“Thanks for getting Minhyuk’s brat to me in one piece. Try to get ahold of Hoseok for me? Go check on him tomorrow, at least. I have a feeling he’s going to be in bad shape.” Jooheon nods a bit numbly in response, looking just as unsure as Changkyun feels. Kihyun starts herding the youngest out the door, clearly impatient to get out of there. Jooheon mutely waves goodbye, and Changkyun hurriedly waves back as he’s pushed back outside. 

So much for a nice night with his lowkey crush. 

Changkyun only stops Kihyun once they’re out of sight, pulling the smaller male to a stop. “What happened?” he asks again, with more force than before. He’s admittedly worried. 

Kihyun gives him this pressed look, like he’s deciding whether or not he should tell Changkyun. He sighs tiredly. “Listen—I’m really not the person to tell you. It’s a long story.” 

“We’ve got time,” Changkyun throws back. Kihyun glares, but he relents, recounting the evening’s events as they walk. The rapper feels his heart sink in his chest when Kihyun starts talking about Hyunwoo—how Minhyuk had known about him and kept him a secret from Hyungwon. 

“We’d talked about Hyunwoo and Hoseok before,” Kihyun says. “I’d brought them up when Minhyuk first mentioned Hyungwon. He didn’t know much, but I got enough information to know I didn’t want to be the cause of whatever mess would result from them meeting—so I dropped it and introduced my friends by false names. But Minhyuk isn’t stupid—I’m sure he put the pieces together after meeting Hoseok. He interrogated me about it too—and of course he had to get Hoseok’s take on it.” The older male looks irritated when he mentions this, Minhyuk’s inquisitiveness and his search for answers for his friend. Changkyun doesn’t say anything about it, feeling uncomfortable. Kihyun huffs out a sharp breath, calming himself down. “Anyway. Minhyuk found out Hoseok and Hyunwoo have been dating, and he ignored my advice and called Hyunwoo to meet Hyungwon. And it went very, very badly.” 

The younger student bites his lip, understanding. Minhyuk betrayed Hyungwon’s trust. He can imagine the fallout is going to be messy. “Hyungwon didn’t take it well?” 

Kihyun gives him a long look then, one that Changkyun can’t read. After a moment, he clarifies, “I think Hyunwoo rejected him.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jookyun is my fluff pairing, which is too bad bc i'm No Good with fluff :')


	8. 行き場のない愚者のメロディー

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god, i'm so sorry this took so long. i didn't realize it had been since like. december. omg.  
> i've been so busy with life, and focused on my other fics, and the time just disappeared. but tbh this is my favorite story i'm currently writing, so i didn't wanna give a quick update just to throw something up. i wanted to complete this chapter as it was intended.  
> updates might still be slow for a bit... i'm wrapping up one of my other stories soon, and i wanna finish that asap, so i might ignore my other fics for that time.

Hoseok wakes up the next morning to his phone’s alarm blaring in his ear. He fumbles with the device, rolling off the couch he’d fallen asleep on. Sleeping in such an uncomfortable position all night leaves his body feeling cramped and sore, and he does his best to stretch out the kinks in his joints as he turns off his alarm and checks his messages. There’s a few from Jooheon and Kihyun, but otherwise nothing. No word from Hyunwoo. He feels heavy as he tosses his phone onto the couch. 

He goes through his morning routine robotically. His eyes still sting, and his head is congested, but he has classes to attend and he can’t stay here. As he walks around the dorm, he finds all of Hyunwoo’s stuff undisturbed. He really didn’t come home last night. The blond makes a mental note of everything, both to occupy his mind and to check back on later. He brushes his teeth and hair, finds a clean hoodie and pair of jeans to change into, and grabs his bag. He doesn’t bother finding breakfast, unsure if he’ll ever regain his appetite after last night. 

His class schedule is fairly empty today, two lectures in the morning and one after lunch, and he sits through them as mechanically and absently as he did getting ready for them. He skips lunch, attempts to study. He’s too distracted to get any work done. He can’t stop thinking about Hyunwoo, worried out of his mind about where his boyfriend (he refuses to process that the other broke up with him) is and if he’s okay—if he’s in as bad shape as Hoseok is over what happened. 

Normally, they’d be spending their lunch break together (always making sure to schedule time together each semester), but today Hoseok is alone. It hurts to think about for too long, and so he spends most of the day feeling blank and absent. He walks around campus aimlessly before heading to his last class of the day. All he wants to do is go back and wait for Hyunwoo to return so they can talk things out. Hyunwoo couldn’t have meant what he said—he can’t really want to leave Hoseok. He has to know that his reaction was unreasonable. He’ll come to his senses. 

When Hoseok returns to his dorm, somehow it feels off. He toes off his shoes at the entrance; Hyunwoo’s shoes are missing and his jacket isn’t hanging on the wall, and the blond can’t remember if they’d been there this morning. He glances around, carefully slides his bag down on the table. Something feels wrong, and he can’t place what it is. The dorm feels disturbed, and it sends an oddly somber feeling down Hoseok’s spine. Was Hyunwoo’s door open like that when he left, were the magazines strewn across the coffee table like that? 

In his quiet search, he finds the proof of the disturbance. There’s a note on the table with his name on it. His throat closes up as he recognizes Hyunwoo’s handwriting. _I’m staying with Jaebum and Jinyoung for a while. Don’t worry about me._ Hoseok’s heart sinks. Hyunwoo came back, but only to grab his stuff—only to tell Hoseok not to get his hopes up. Hyunwoo won’t be home any time soon. 

He collapses onto one of the chairs, putting his head in his hands. He feels physically _ill_ after all of this. He never thought he could lose Hyunwoo. Even when his soulmate seemed like a looming threat to their relationship, Hoseok never considered Hyunwoo would _leave_. That seems too cruel for someone so selfless. Hoseok is crushed. 

It’s not like they’ve never argued or anything. They’ve gotten into fights over things smaller than this soulmate fiasco. Hyunwoo has left before, and Hoseok has too. But it’s never taken more than a few hours for them to cool down. Hyunwoo especially is so level-headed. He’s never left, then waited for Hoseok to be out of the dorm before grabbing his things and announcing he would be gone for an undetermined amount of time. Hoseok doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do now. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there, lost in thought and hurt, when his phone rings. He reaches for it blindly, not bothering to see who’s calling before answering with a morose, “What?” 

“Hyung?” Jooheon’s voice calls through the small speaker. “Hey, are you alright? Kihyun said something happened last night.” 

Hoseok’s heart is grieving on the floor, but he does his best to pick it back up. “I’m okay,” he says, trying to put on a brave face for the younger student. “How was your thing with, uh, Minhyuk’s roommate?” 

There’s silence on the other line for a moment before Jooheon speaks again. “I’m nearby, how about I come over and we can talk?” 

“I-I guess,” Hoseok stutters, glancing around the suite. It feels so cold and empty where it once felt warm and friendly. It’s too painful. “Yeah, that… that sounds good.” 

“I’ll be there soon, Hyung.” Jooheon promises, and he disconnects the call. Hoseok doesn’t want him to come over, but he doesn’t think he should be alone right now either. The blond collects himself enough to walk downstairs and wait outside in the dorm’s courtyard for his friend. He urges himself to go numb while he waits, not wanting to burst into tears right outside his building. Luckily, Jooheon is true to his word and finds him soon. 

He must look sincerely pathetic, as Jooheon can’t smooth over his sympathetic wince when he meets Hoseok’s gaze. “Hey Hyung, do you wanna go back upstairs?” 

He should, as hard as he’s fighting to hold back tears. But the thought of walking back up to his empty apartment hurts enough to make him want to cry harder. “Can we, uh, can we go on a walk?” The brunet blinks, but he nods quickly and walks with Hoseok away from the dorm. 

They’re quiet for a while, the dancer holding himself together and doing his best to ignore the concerned looks his friend keeps throwing him. It’s cold out today, and Hoseok wishes he’d thought to bring a heavier jacket. It’s not bad enough for him to go back. Jooheon leads him to the broadcasting building, into one of the smaller studios Jooheon was given to record his show and his music. He takes a seat in the rolling chair by the panel, and Hoseok sinks down on the small faux-leather couch pushed along the wall. Even here, in the privacy of Jooheon’s studio, neither male says a word. Jooheon is clearly waiting for his friend to speak first, but the dancer isn’t certain he can talk without crying. 

Eventually, though, Hoseok can’t take it anymore. “Hyunwoo left me.” 

The statement incites another kind of heaviness between them. The dam of emotions the blond had built up starts to crack. “He broke up with me, and he didn’t come back home until I was in class. He left a note saying he’d be gone for a while.” 

“Oh,” Jooheon mumbles, clearly taken aback. He seems surprised, but not shocked—like he didn’t expect it, but he could understand it. Hoseok feels pathetic. 

“I didn’t even do anything,” he defends quickly. “I didn’t invite him to meet Hyungwon—I didn’t even tell Hyungwon about him. I stopped talking about the soulmate thing, just like Hyunwoo wanted. Why is he upset with me? Minhyuk set us up. It’s his fault, not mine.” He doesn’t consider how he’d been splitting the affection he’d promised solely to Hyunwoo with another boy, doesn’t consider how quickly he’d let Hyungwon take over. He ignores his own lies. 

But Jooheon knows. “It’s not like Hyunwoo to just suddenly blow up,” he points out. “He’s more patient than anyone I’ve ever met, but he’s got a breaking point too.” Hoseok doesn’t reply, staring down unhappily at his hands in his lap. The younger male sighs. “It’ll be okay, Hyung. You both just need some time to cool down. He loves you so much, there’s no way he’ll leave you like that.” 

Hoseok doesn’t know what to think anymore. He only knows that it hurts to have Hyunwoo leave him so easily. “He knows I wasn’t trying to hurt him. I never wanted to.” He’d told Hyunwoo that all he wanted was for the three of them to try being something more. 

He just wants Hyunwoo to _try_. Hoseok isn’t going to hurt him—and surely Hyungwon had no intention of breaking them up either. They could all be so good together, but even if they aren’t, Hoseok isn’t going to leave Hyunwoo out in the cold. Hyunwoo has to know that even if it’s Hyungwon’s name on Hoseok’s wrist, that doesn’t mean Hoseok’s loyalties lie with the younger male. 

Jooheon nods sympathetically. “I know that, Hyung, but as much as Hyunwoo-hyung loves and trusts you, he doesn’t want to get hurt either. I think maybe… you got a little caught up with your soulmate, and that Hyunwoo-hyung felt like he was being left out.” 

“That’s his own fault, then,” Hoseok decides bitterly. “He’s the one that rejected the idea of having another soulmate. Even Hyungwon was open to it.” As Hyungwon’s name slips from his own lips, Hoseok winces. “Hyungwon—I should call him. Hyunwoo was awful to him last night. I can’t believe some of the things he said. Honestly, I just… I can’t believe Hyunwoo could be so defensive, and then turn around and hurt someone else in the same way he’s afraid of.” 

The rapper doesn’t say anything to that—not that there’s any way to defend it, in Hoseok’s mind. Even if Hyunwoo felt threatened in some way by Hyungwon, that didn’t give him any right to say any of those things—especially not to his soulmate. Hyungwon must be utterly crushed. 

Hoseok deflates, though, when he realizes how unlikely it is that Hyungwon will want to talk to him. “Hyungwon probably hates me too. I sort of… lied to him about Hyunwoo.” 

“Hyung,” Jooheon sighs, giving him an imploring look. “It’ll be okay. I know it’s messy right now, but this situation is… _delicate_. Hyunwoo-hyung will be back, and then you both can talk this through.” 

“What about Hyungwon?” Hoseok murmurs, feeling small and alone. 

The younger boy purses his lips. “I think you and Hyunwoo-hyung need to come to an agreement first. You can’t make up with him and then immediately chase Hyungwon when he’s still uncomfortable with it.” 

“That’s still saying either of them _will_ talk to me again,” Hoseok answers morosely. What an awful situation he’s found himself in. “I just want to make sure they’re okay. Especially Hyungwon, I should have helped him last night.” He shakes his head, disappointed in himself. He should have done better, he can admit that, but he was taken completely off guard. The responsibility shouldn’t fall on him. But he doesn’t have much will to blame Minhyuk either. 

“I think you need to stop running yourself in circles over it,” Jooheon tells him. “You can’t do anything about it right now. You just need to calm down for a bit.” 

“Distract me, then,” Hoseok tells him. “How did your audition with Hyungwon’s and Minhyuk’s roommate go? What’s his name again—Changkyung?” 

“Changkyun,” Jooheon corrects. “It went really well—he seems cool, and Jackson really liked him. I think he could make a great addition to the band.” He smiles recalling it, as if endeared by the memory. 

“I’m happy to hear that,” Hoseok offers, trying to be as sincere as he can. He is happy that it went well for Jooheon, and that he hit it off with Changkyun. It must not read off very genuinely, though, as Jooheon gives him a pressed frown. 

“You know, Hyung,” he starts haltingly, careful and almost guilty. “We looked over all the auditions, and we think Changkyun would be the best fit. If—if he does join the band, maybe I can see if maybe he could talk to Hyungwon for you…?” 

Hoseok is a bit taken aback by the offer. Jooheon is always helpful and offers good advice, but there’s certain things that he doesn’t get involved in, and soulmates is definitely one of those subjects. But he’s grateful for the offer. However, he knows he shouldn’t put Jooheon in that position with a potential bandmate. “I’m going to try talking to him first. I’m sure I can get Minhyuk or Kihyun to help.” He smiles, ignores the way Jooheon seems to slouch in relief. Hoseok isn’t so selfish as to make his friend do something he’s clearly uncomfortable with—or at least, he’ll reserve it as his last resort. “Thank you.” 

Jooheon gets up from where he’s sitting and crosses the room and pulls his friend into a hug. “Don’t worry, Hyung. However it’s meant to, it’ll work out.” Hoseok can only hope he’s right. They drop the topic afterwards, talking instead about Jooheon’s music projects and Hoseok’s newest choreography. It’s good and distracting, and Hoseok allows himself to forget his soulmate stress for a little while until has to go back to his empty dorm. 

☆〜（ゝ。∂） 

First chance he gets, Hoseok calls Kihyun to meet up. Kihyun is Hoseok’s first contact to both of the dancer’s soulmates, and his help is invaluable. He hasn’t heard anything from either of his soulmates by the time he sees Kihyun, and it’s left Hoseok an anxious mess. Hyunwoo is clearly ignoring his boyfriend, and it isn’t worth contacting Minhyuk himself to talk to Hyungwon after what happened. If the photographer won’t help him connect with either Hyunwoo or Hyungwon, Hoseok doesn’t know what else he can do. 

It takes longer than the dancer would like to set up a meeting with Kihyun. Hoseok wants to fix things immediately (too painful to keep coming back to an empty dorm, no soulmate to physically nor emotionally support him), but Kihyun doesn’t meet with him for more than a week after the incident. Hoseok is anxious to do _something_ by that point. 

He’d even considered calling Jaebum or Jinyoung, even though he knew they would never take Hoseok’s side over Hyunwoo’s. Despite the amount of time Hoseok has spent with them, none of the others in the dance crew had taken to him as strongly as they had with Hyunwoo. It isn’t that they aren’t friends; he just knows the others don’t see him the same way they see Hyunwoo. He’d voiced concerns about that once to Youngjae, who had merely pat his shoulder and told him there wasn’t anything to worry about. _“There’s just a lot of history between them,”_ he’d explained simply, and that was that. It was enough to know that Hoseok should never count on them to be in his corner when Hyunwoo was involved. 

(He supposes, if it comes down to it, he could try asking Youngjae for help, but something about that idea seems wrong.) 

But so long as he has Kihyun and Jooheon, Hoseok doesn’t need the dance crew to get to Hyunwoo. His friends will help him, especially when they know it’s best for both dancers to be reunited as soon as possible. 

Hoseok meets Kihyun at the same café they’d last seen each other—the same café that Hyungwon had run from, the same that Hyunwoo had broken both of his soulmates’ hearts in front of. Kihyun is even sitting in the same seat, all the way in the back. He has his laptop out, clearly hard at work on some project as he doesn’t notice Hoseok’s presence at all. Hoseok sits down across from his friend, and that’s when the younger male finally notices him. 

“How have you been?” Hoseok prompts when their eyes meet. Kihyun doesn’t look well. His expression is tired, accentuated by the dark circles forming under his eyes and the slump to his shoulders. The photographer doesn’t hold Hoseok’s gaze for long until he turns back to his laptop. 

“Busy,” he replies curtly. Hoseok’s lip curls back into a wince, and when Kihyun looks up and notices, his expression softens. “Sorry. I’m just really stressed right now.” 

“Is it a bad time to talk?” the older student asks quietly, feeling guilt creep up on him. 

“No,” the photographer sighs. “We have to talk sooner or later.” 

Hoseok still doesn’t feel right about interrupting his friend. “If you have projects to worry about—,” 

“I need a break anyway.” Kihyun waves his hand dismissively, saves his progress and slams his laptop shut. “You want to talk about your soulmates, don’t you?” Hoseok nods hesitantly, and Kihyun shifts back in his seat. “Right. Are we starting with Hyunwoo or Hyungwon?” 

His tone is flat, almost clinical. Hoseok draws back, feeling uneasy all of a sudden. “Um… Hyunwoo? I need to know where he is.” 

Kihyun shrugs. “He’s with Jaebum. There’s not much else I know. Hyunwoo didn’t really tell me a lot, probably worried it would get back to you.” Hoseok winces again. God, he really fucked up. Hyunwoo won’t even talk to Kihyun now—Hyunwoo is distancing himself from his childhood best friend all because of Hoseok. 

Clearly noticing the stress beginning to line Hoseok’s shoulders, Kihyun leans forward. “I think he just doesn’t want you to worry, or think about him right now. He thinks you need space, and that I’m too close of a link for you both.” 

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok murmurs. He feels awful, that’s the only way to describe it. 

Kihyun still doesn’t look bothered. “No need to apologize to me. We all need some space right now. Especially you, I think.” 

“No,” Hoseok immediately disagrees. “I need Hyunwoo. I need Hyungwon.” Being alone is the worst thing for him; he can’t handle it, not after how his soulmates left him. He needs them back, at least one of them. He can’t be without them both, not after the explosive confrontation that caused their split. He needs one of them for comfort, _to_ comfort. Not seeing them, not knowing how they are—it kills him. He doesn’t know if Hyunwoo is safe, doesn’t know if Hyungwon is hurting. He can’t take Kihyun telling him that living with this anxiety is what he “needs”. “I need to be with them.” 

The photographer gives him a quiet look before responding. “I don’t think you understand the position you’ve put everyone in right now.” Hoseok tenses, already feeling indignant at the claim. But Kihyun doesn’t give him the time to respond before he continues. “I know you think you’re doing the right thing, but this is wrong. You’re hurting everyone involved. Hyunwoo leaving should be a wake up call, right? I mean—he would never break up with you if he wasn’t hurting.” 

Hoseok clenches his jaw, doesn’t say anything to that. Kihyun doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Hyunwoo just needs time. “If you won’t help me see Hyunwoo, will you at least help me apologize to Hyungwon?” 

Kihyun gives him a long look, and Hoseok does his best to ignore the disbelief on his friend’s face. The photographer looks down and reaches for his laptop, shrugs stiffly. “I can’t help with that.” 

The dismissal hurts. A flicker of desperation rises up in Hoseok’s chest, and he’s upset at his friend for closing off to him. “ _Please_ , Kihyun, can’t you just tell Minhyuk to call me?” he finds himself begging. He only needs one favor, just _one_. Whether Kihyun chooses to help him with Hyunwoo or Hyungwon, Hoseok just needs reunited with at least one of his soulmates. 

The other boy scoffs as he turns his laptop back on. “I haven’t talked to him since that ‘incident’ with you and Hyungwon.” Hoseok’s blood runs cold, and guilt lances through him like a knife. Kihyun glances up, sighs at his friend’s stricken expression. “I told you to just appreciate what you have.” 

That can’t be true. Kihyun and Minhyuk were inseparable. Minhyuk wouldn’t abandon his soulmate over this. How could he hurt Kihyun like that? How could he even stand it? Hoseok can’t believe it. “I’m so sorry,” he chokes out, regret causing his throat to close up. He didn’t think what happened that night would cause such a ripple effect, would hurt more people than just him and his soulmates. God, it’s such a mess. 

The photographer shrugs, as if it isn’t a big deal that his own soulmate doesn’t want to talk to him or see him. “It doesn’t matter. He’ll either call or show up at my dorm soon enough. He never holds grudges.” He seems to go back to whatever project he was working on before, and Hoseok frowns after him. He doesn’t understand Kihyun’s attitude towards Minhyuk at all. But it certainly isn’t his place to comment. Hoseok clearly doesn’t know how to keep his own soulmates happy. 

Kihyun glances at him again. The older student imagines he must look as lost as he feels, as the younger’s expression softens. “They’ll be back. Hyunwoo could never leave you for good, and even Hyungwon seemed too interested in you to just give up on you. Just give them some time. You’ll have to see Hyunwoo soon anyway, right?” 

Hoseok blinks at him slowly, thinking. It takes him a moment to remember their dance crew. “Oh—you’re right.” It doesn’t make him feel any better, an unwilling and reluctant reunion. Hyunwoo has never and would never skip a practice with their dance crew—Hoseok knows Hyunwoo would be there, in spite of whatever he has against any of the other members. That still doesn’t mean Hoseok would get the talk from Hyunwoo that he needs. 

But, he thinks, it’s better than nothing. And who says Hyunwoo won’t come back to him before then? 

Hoseok slips out of his seat then, feeling strange about their talk and deciding he’s been in Kihyun’s hair long enough. “Thanks for meeting with me,” he says, a bit meek. “I hope you hear from Minhyuk soon.” 

“Don’t worry,” Kihyun offers, glances up to give Hoseok a pressed smile. “And I know Hyunwoo will come back—just focus on him, okay? He loves you so much.” 

“I know,” Hoseok mumbles, a dull ache in his chest. “I love him too. I miss him.” 

“He’ll be back,” the photographer says again. “When could he ever stay away from you?” 

For once, Hoseok doesn’t think he’s so optimistic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! hopefully the next one won't take as long... :')  
> also i wanna translate the chapter titles (they're song titles/lyrics) but like.... i'm not confident enough in my own abilities to translate (my japanese is still pretty basic), and i'm not comfortable using other people's translations lol..........but i can try if you guys care? if not i'll just leave it alone.  
> thank you for reading~

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/monsomnia) or [tumblr](http://monsomnia.tumblr.com) if you want~


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